It's not my fault But it still hurts.

by Mala
(NJ USA)

Its not my fault that she got old. Not my fault I can't physically care for her, or that I can't make the nursing home a good place. Not my fault that she lived to be 90 & is in constant pain, or that she fell last week & now has even more pain.


Not my fault that she hates me for not saving her, or that she will likely die soon. Its not my fault that I can't help her to live, nor can I help her to die. Its not my fault that I turn my phone off so I won't hear her screams & accusations when she calls. Not my fault that I can't tolerate her vomit & excrement, when I visit. (It made me gag today). Not my fault.

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It's not my fault But it still hurts
by: Anonymous

You're absolutely right, NONE of it is your fault.
You do the best you can under the circumstances, but that's all you can do.

I'm sure it breaks your heart to see your mom suffering and all that she is going through, but there's nothing we can do to stop the aging process. It is what it is.

Be kind to yourself. You're doing the best you can.


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