Is This Enough?

I live 86 miles from my elderly mother. I have 2 sisters living near her and 1 living in England. My older sister does most of the visiting and care and seems happy with that but my younger sister gets really mad with me (we used to have a good relationship)She keeps ringing and telling me I am not doing enough and shouting!

I visit my mum every Wednesday and spend the entire day with her, doctors appointments, shopping etc. I also spend a week-end a month up with her. I have taken her for Christmas for the last 10 years, also Easter etc. and any other time that I can. Is this enough? She has a home help who comes in each morning to help her dress etc. for 1 hours. Mam is 87 years old and has

My sister certainly does not think so but I can not visit any more than I am. I work (self employed) and have a family also, husband(grown children and grandchildren)I would like an opinion as I am not sure what is enough any more.

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Elderly Care - Thanks
by: Anonymous

I am the writer of "is this enough" and have to say feel a lot better reading the replies. I think feeling guilty goes with the territory of caring for elderly parents and I was really afraid I was not doing enough.


You are Doing a lot!
by: Anonymous

I live about 35 miles from my mom and visit her once a week (more if she is sick). My brother lives about the same distance and visits every other week. I call every other day. She lives in a semi-assisted living facility so there are people around and checking in on her, although she says she has no friends.

For a few years she lived only 10 minutes from me and I saw her 2-3 times a week then. She didn't like that place either and wanted to move. So I feel that I do what I can manage. She says that she gets more visits from my brother and me than most people get from their children! So, it seems to me that you are doing more than enough! Don't let your sibling beat you up!

It is all Relative
by: Anonymous

I have three sisters, one of which could help if if if she were if she were if if if if...she's sorta disabled and too poor. but if if if....

the other two are thieving deadbeats. Sisters.

I have been doing it alone for 8.5 years and counting. So to have a sister like you who showed up all that you do, on holidays. You'd be an angel.

There are some who cannot even manage an hour, not even a card, nor a phone call.

If angry sister wants even hourly split, that is her gripe. I suppose if it were anywhere near equal hours, I'd be counting the differences too.

But as I am so off the chart alone, even someone calling every week is a miracle.

by: Anonymous

I see my Mom weekly. I too live far away while the other 2 sisters are in the same town. It was their choice to put her in a nursing home in the same city they live in. I call my Mom every evening plus visit every Saturday. They take turns going so she has a visitor every day. I still work so could not do more if I wanted to. They are asking too much of you. It sounds like you do more than your share.

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