Is It Selfish of Me?
My mom (88) has been living with us for more than 10 years now. We moved to a new home and made multiple accommodations so that she would be comfortable here.
I manage her medication, all of her appointments and bills. In addition to this, I have been managing the rental of her home. My husband and daughters also provide care for her.
Over the years, as expected, her issues and need for help have increased. Despite this, my siblings (God love them), for whatever reasons, are rarely "bothered" with her. They sometimes call, visit, take her out.
I work part time so that I can manage her and her affairs. Mom is adamant that after she passes, she wants her home to be shared equally amongst the 6 of her kids.
So, I advocated for myself and she reconsidered, and designating 50% of the home to me and the remainder divided between the others.
My issue: When I consider my family finances, over the years, we have invested into her care, well over the "50%" allotment (not to mention time, lifestyle, patience and other sacrifices of those in this household).
I, my husband and daughters enjoy having mom live with us even though she can be quite a handful. Our finances have definitely been negatively effected.
Because of this, I believe that I should have the house. When I do the math, over the years, we've invested in her more than the house is worth.
11 years ago when we moved in together, I just didn't know that it would be like this. My mom and I are co-owners of the property. She made this change when we moved 11 years ago (siblings know this), and as it stands now, I will own it outright when she is gone.
How do I broach this subject with my siblings? Is my thought process/reasoning out of touch, selfish? I'm proactive and like to be up front with everyone. Heaven forbid a family feud when my mom passes.