Interference from Brother's ex Wife

by VCook
(Australia)

My Brother and his wife have been divorced for 8 years. My Brother lives in another State and makes himself unavailable to help with the care and health issues of his 2 elderly parents (they are his parents too ). My Brother's ex wife lives not far from the nursing home.


She lives in another State away from her own
elderly Parents (also making herself unavailable by choice) to take care of her Parent's needs. They are old and all old people need a hand from their kids. This woman has made my life a nightmare.

She takes it upon herself to take my Parent's out which is good but spends the time having lunches with the new husband and kids while my Father pays. My Father told me often she would criticize my Brother and I for not doing enough for them.

I have resigned from 2 jobs in order to look after their health issues and medical appointments, accounts, take my Father to lunch and shopping, sell their home, admission procedures to nursing home and all the heartache that is associated with the move from family home into nursing care. My Father has Cancer and has Insulin dependent diabetes and my mother has advanced dementia.The nursing home staff are wonderful.

We have a very good relationship, and they know I drop everything when needed to come and handle any issue that requires attention. I look after my Father's needs and make sure he has everything to make life just that bit more comfortable.I spend 20 hours a week visiting and taking care of Mum and Dad's affairs.

This woman seems to have a martyr complex, texting me about issues that I was advised of days before "in case I was not aware". I don't know what made her think as immediate family I would be unaware of issues before her. On days out with her my Father would drink maybe just a little bit too much alcohol...while on Xanax, Insulin and morphine and would come home and be aggressive with the nursing centre residents and staff due to the cocktail effect on his tiny frail frame.

I would have to speak to him, make apologies to any person offended and generally run my life in damage control. There have been many more issues of her wanting to take over Power of Attorney after an alcohol fueled Father was manipulated by a Brother and and ex wife who do not bother to take care of their own parents but see fit to interfere with my care responsibilities while they further their careers.

Just this morning as my Father lay in the final stages of his life, I go to visit my Father to be informed my Brother is nowhere to be seen but his ex wife has been and told the nurse on duty "she does not get along with me and does not wish to cross my path" On the way to visit my Father I am more stressed about her being there than the very reason I have gone to see my Father whose organs are shutting down now.

I just cannot bear the thought of going through another few years of this stress with my Mother.

Please what do I do !

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