Independent stubborn elderly parents

by April
(Midwest)

Hi.. I feel like I need to title, Chapter 1 "How Did We Get so Dysfunctional?"


I am most frustrated with the division between us 4 adult children, in the ability to communicate what is best for my mother. My brother, out of town, states that "Mother can make her own decisions, and we want her last years to be happy...."

My middle sister has the DPOA, and has gone underground with recent plans to move mom to her house. (This was after a fall, in which she didn't tell anyone about---prob my brother haha) My oldest sister is out of town, and helps as much as possible.

My parents strong armed all of us when we have tried to help, in the way of cleaning up the house, having add'l staff come into to help. ( they have sufficient funds to pay for this) We had a walk-in shower put in, and they wouldn't use it!!

My Dad passed away a couple years ago, and was almost 91. So, the last couple of years has been a battle back and forth, and here we are on Easter Sunday, and one sister has her at a gathering in spite of the "lock down".

Yes, it's funny, that I'm the baby. I take mom to appointments, visit her & help. It was through my shaming that she finally took a shower.

I use the quote from one of the other posters.. "put a fork in me, I'm done."

I feel like it will be uglier before it gets better.

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