In the Blink of an Eye
In the blink of an eye, it will all change. Last month a friend of mine sat at my kitchen table and told me her mom passed away. She had been caregiving for 10 years. I looked hard at her face and into her eyes looking for that sign of relief. Her mom had a feeding tube and three times a day she had to feed her through her stomach, plus she had to change diapers and bathe her.
She stoically claimed she did it and she was glad she could be there for her mom, like putting that little flag on top of Mt. Everest, but she didn't reveal that look of camaraderie and support that I was hoping to see.
That look that says, hang in there, your time is coming, too. However, she immediately started talking about her future plans, her trips to Hawaii, and the rearrangements of her life. Ahhh, I thought, there it is. We can't help but exclaim it in some way.
This morning I received a text from a friend. Her mom passed away at 1:00 AM last night. I sighed.
She struggled financially with her mom this past year, trying to get assistance to put her somewhere because she was unable to take care of her at home.
She finally received the help a month ago, placed her in a home, and after all that, now her mom is gone. I already know her plans. She is putting her house on the market and moving to another state to be near her kids and grand kids. We wait and we wait and then boom, it all changes in one second.
That's exactly how it will be with my mom. I hold this place together day by day and string our lives along until at one moment her string will break and here I will be sorting through 96 years of a lifetime.
And in that moment my life will change as completely as hers. We will both be on a new journey. I have no more of an idea of how mine will turn out anymore than she does hers. It's almost like another birthing and breaking of the umbilical cord. It will set us both free.