I'm the Only One Helping

by Lynne
(NV )

I have a brother that is capable of helping with my mother, but he has every excuse there is why he can't.


I just moved closer to my mother so I could help, but now I'm taking care of her 24/7,with no time for myself at all, and it's getting to the point where I just have to say no more.

My mother lives in her own apartment, but I have to make sure she gets up, make her meals, and get her to bed. Now I'm feeling depressed, not to mention she lashes out at me all the time.

She can't afford help, and she's not bad enough for a nursing home. I've tried all sorts of agencies for help,but I still can't seem to get any. Other than just running away, I don't know what to do. I have no life anymore.

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Going through the same thing
by: Donna W

I also have a brother who never talks to my mom or offers any help and when I ask him he always has something to do. He also has the excuse that my mom's smoking makes him sick but never mind that it is making me sick as well.

As far as help for your mom, if she is low income you can apply for medicaid and then you would be able to get home care for her so many hours and days a week depending on what she needs done. A nurse told me if you want several hours and several days a week you should make up tasks that need to be done so the help can stay longer.

That was very surprising to me to get that advice from a nurse. Also my mom never wants me to leave her and she is good at putting a guilt trip on me when I do but I just go anyway. We have to take care of ourselves as well. I especially feel if I am angry then that means I need to leave for a while and every time I come back she is fine.

My mom has always been one to only think mostly about her and everyone should be doing everything for her. I hope that give you a little insight and I wish you all the best.

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Lashing out?
by: Mothers Assistant

Hello,
It seems time for you to find the Doctor and tell him what she's doing with her behavior.

There are Senior Services from the Senior Community in most all cities/towns, counties, and States that provide assistance to Seniors of low income.

There may also be clauses in your Mothers Medical Insurance that will pay for these needs or a portion of them as it may be a medical issue if her Anger or Lashing out is due to the onset of several forms of Dementia. Catholic Social Services, here in Arizona, are non-denominational when it comes to sharing their services to the community for Senior care.

Meals on Wheels can provide a noon meal, but if you're mother must have an assistant help her to dress, meal preparation, bathing assistant, then you're done being the full time care taker and get professional assistance.
Sincerely,
M

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