If only Time were in a Bottle

by Selena
(Little Rock, AK)

My story is very familiar with the others here. I have only my Mom left as we lost my Dad almost twenty years ago to cancer in his Fifties. My folks raised us right and they set a good example as parents.

What's distressing to me is how little care and love is being shown now towards the care of our Mom by the rest of my family members. My Mom, well what can I say, she is the BEST Mom, always has been. She is old now and not well with Alzheimer's. Her care has been left up to the two least likely individuals, my sister and myself.

My sister is not in very good health and what she doesn't know and none of my other non-participant siblings know is I am no longer in good health.

Daily life has taken its toll on me and the stress from a full time job and raising children and trying to keep my marriage intact have all taken a toll on me. In spite of the health problems I'm facing down, I am there for my Mom and so is my devoted and bighearted sister. I love them both so much. I'm just afraid of what will happen if something happens to one of us and my Mom is left alone?

Will my other siblings suddenly develop a conscience and step up to the plate? I doubt it. My heart is heavy these days as I long for the carefree days of the past but I know what my sister and myself are doing cannot be measured and cannot be replaced so we do it with a smile on our face.

I guess we do what we can and leave the rest to God. When life gets to be too much I sit in my Father's chair (old recliner that still has a faint scent of him) and I feel like everything will be alright again. Life has so many thorns but aren't the beautiful roses worth the thorns?

Nobody ever said this world which we live in is easy but the sun will rise tomorrow and it will set in the evening just like it does every day and life goes on. Life is so very fragile but precious and its these lessons that we are living in that teach us to appreciate those we love the most and let then know we appreciate them.

My question that I ask my caregivers out there is, should my sister and me discuss our health conditions and the extent of them with our siblings or should we go this road alone?

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I Trust your Judgement.
by: Renata

You said, you doubted whether your other siblings would rise to the challange and care for your Mom should something happen to you or your sister. It's your decision to tell them about your health concerns, I will share just a little from my personal journey with you.

I too thought that I would surely die before my Father and Mother from the stress. I was having anxiety attacks frequently too. But that was five year ago, and today I am healthy once more. Prozac helps to eradicate the coping element. See your doctor. I didn't use Prozac until 3 years after my dad passed, I wish I'd use it sooner. I was on Prozac for one year.

My other siblings weren't concerned enough about their Mother or Father who sacrificed for them and now in their time of need, their response or lack thereof was most hurtful. I wouldn't share something personal with someone who doesn't care about me. They wouldn't see it in the 'right light'.

My brother was looking at me the same way he looked at my parents - on my way out... you know what I mean. That does nothing for you personally - it takes from you instead. So let God be your guide.

by: Anonymous

Communication is the key. I am surprised you would get to this point of sacrificing your own health and yet, have not sat the rest of the family down to lay it all out. Why not?

How can anyone help if they don't know the full extent of what is going on? You are not being fair to your siblings, they probably think you and your sister have it all under control and like it that way. They could also be wary of interfering. Life does not have to be hard. Life is what we make it.

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