I Try to Help
(New Ross, Indiana, USA)
My mother and I have never got along well. We have always got on each others nerves, but now she will not listen to anything I suggest.
She can't do much for herself and I try things that I was taught when I worked in a nursing home, but she refuses everything I say. Then she will do the exact thing I suggested for my two sisters, making me feel upset because she will not except my help.
One sister sees her 2 hours a day, and helps her bath and eat lunch, the other one sees her maybe once a week for about an hour. She has lived with my husband and me for going on 13 years, and it's only getting worse.
I have her all the rest of the time and work 50 hours a week. I tell my sisters about her being so hard to live with and they say it's me because I know how she is. Maybe it is, but I don't go on vacations, or week-ends.
I wanted to be gone 3 days last year and I had to hire someone to stay with her at night, because they couldn't. I'm tired, and I'm hurt. I want the best for her, but I am feeling very stressed and like all of them are ganging up on me.
I am to the place now that I will not suggest anything for her care or stay any longer than needed with her. I don't have anything to say to her, because her first words to me are "I can't do that" then she does it with my sisters. Kinda childish of me, isn't it. What can I do to feel better?