I Thought Assisted Living Would Solve my Problem, Now it's a Nightmare
I finally decided to place my mother in an assisted living/memory care community. The staff were so sweet and made it sound like it would all be so wonderful.
My mother was there for one night, and the night nurse walked into her room startling her, and my mother started yelling at her to get out, etc.
It escalated, and my mother flew into a rage, and the next day the facility told me they wanted my mother to go to the local hospital to the senior behavioral psychiatric unit to get her medicines modified.
It's now been 2 weeks. I have learned that this is standard operating procedure for when an elderly demented person acts out. They claim it is to protect others from getting hurt, but honestly, no one was really in danger of getting hurt, especially in my mothers case.
But if they ever actually hit someone they are classified as violent, and may not be permitted to live in an assisted living or memory care community.
Now she is on 5 different drugs. Fortunately she does not seem to be having any bad side effects.
Will this make it so she never argues again? No. The facility will give her a tranquilizer if she argues again, or insist she go back to the hospital for another stay where they just keep them locked up in a small ward, and give them drugs.
I am so disappointed. I trusted that the facility would know how to deal with my Alzheimer's mother.
I will need to relocate her to a place that is better equipped to deal with people than this one.
This is a nightmare.
The dirty little secret no one ever talks about. Locking up and drugging Alzheimer's patients because they get agitated. If they express rage, or despair, they are quickly thrown into a classification of violent and suicidal and they get locked up and drugged.
My nightmare is still not over. I am anxious about whether they will let her out. Then whether the assisted living community will let her back, then if they can handle future rages.
I thought they were supposed to specialize in this!
I am unable to sleep or relax. My life has gotten even more tense. I have to drive 2 hours each day to visit her. I've been there 15 times already.
I was worried about moving her and now I see why. It is a risk once you are outside your own home. You have to go by their rules.