I Think She Just Likes to Complain

My mom lives with us and each day she sits in the corner chair in our family room and sulks. It's right next to the TV so she can't watch it unless she leans over.

Ironically, if I should leave the house for a little while she moves herself to the couch and watches TV. It is only when I am there to see her,that she sits in that chair.

I have offered to take her to the library to get her a card so she can check out books, but she refuses. This is a woman who always loved to read.
I have offered to take her to the Senior Center where she can enroll in a class or two, but again, she refuses. I have offered to buy her crossword puzzle/ word search books (she loves those) but yes, you guessed it, she refuses.

All she seems to want to do is to sit in that chair with her hands folded on her lap and sulk.

Now I spend plenty of time with her, in fact I spend more time with her than I do my own husband, but it doesn't seem to be enough.

Instead of feeling sorry for her, I feel extremely irritated with her and completely frustrated.

To add insult to injury she complains to my siblings (who do nothing to help btw) that all she does is sit all day
Of course she fails to mention the offers I have made to her.

As a result, I have begun to remove myself from her presence as much as I can. I make sure she has what she needs, then I go in the other room, or upstairs and I busy myself.

If she wants to sit all day, then so be it. I will not watch that happen.

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same here
by: Anonymous

This sounds just like my mom only mine just stays in her room all day. She does play solitaire on her computer or I think she does - she might just stare at the screen all day for all I know.

Like you I've made suggestions, asked nicely if she'd like to move to the living room and watch TV, offered to have cable put in her room. Nope, nope, nope.

I can't decide if she's angry at losing her independence and being in this situation of living with me (and she would never say) or if she thinks she's bothering me by being present. Either way I have learned to no longer worry about her and just go about my business doing what I want or what needs to be done. In my heart I know she's been made to feel welcome so I feel no guilt.

Her actions and your mom's actions make day to day living certainly more uncomfortable than it needs to be. It's so hard to know what's going on in their minds to bring on this behavior or what is short-circuiting and I'm not even sure they could explain it. Life is hard, isn't it?

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