I Only Can Control ME, no One Else

by Anonymous

I would NEVER have my mom move in with my husband & me.. I am 60 & I have a life to live too. That being said I live in a different community than her & she says she blames me for moving away .. We're not that far but she never travels do to get it's a world apart .. I visit once a mo. - she has never been to our homes in 25 yrs. due to not traveling. I know she has anxiety /anger/ stress issues - she sees everything as being against her, including me. The cup is not 1/2 empty, it's bone dry.


She lives in a 1,200 sq.ft t/h & knows she can't stay - it's way too much since dad died 15 yrs. ago ..plus she doesn't drive .

Now especially, I came to spend weekend with her as she was sick with the flu, at 85 she's done well - had to, she won't accept help from ANYONE - she now has no one except me & this weekend, in her fear/stress/pain of being sick ... Blew up at me & kicked me out .. Luckily I have friends to stay with..

I have been there all along, staying calm & detached when she rages or pushes my buttons b/c I know SHE is feeling negative, ugly, black, fear & loathing inside...

I can only control ME & how I respond ... Can't control her,
very sad ... I have to find a way to check on her but not for me - just for her.

I am done being a whipping girl, others would've walked away long ago but I can't totally when she has no one else
No easy solution

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2018 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Gee thanks for the advice.

    Feb 15, 18 10:19 AM

    It's so hard having my mom living with us. I won't get into specifics, but it's not fun. Many of you can relate. I'm sure. I was venting about some things

    Read More

  2. Juls

    Feb 10, 18 10:53 AM

    I made some lavender bags out of pretty fabric at home & got some ladies to scoop lavender into them. As they completed a bag I finished sewing the open

    Read More

  3. What Should I have Done Differently?

    Feb 08, 18 02:18 PM

    My elderly mom lives with my brother. He is the primary caregiver. I usually call and talk to her daily. She has always been strongly opinionated, complaining,

    Read More