I Only Can Control ME, no One Else
I would NEVER have my mom move in with my husband & me.. I am 60 & I have a life to live too. That being said I live in a different community than her & she says she blames me for moving away .. We're not that far but she never travels do to get it's a world apart .. I visit once a mo. - she has never been to our homes in 25 yrs. due to not traveling. I know she has anxiety /anger/ stress issues - she sees everything as being against her, including me. The cup is not 1/2 empty, it's bone dry.
She lives in a 1,200 sq.ft t/h & knows she can't stay - it's way too much since dad died 15 yrs. ago ..plus she doesn't drive .
Now especially, I came to spend weekend with her as she was sick with the flu, at 85 she's done well - had to, she won't accept help from ANYONE - she now has no one except me & this weekend, in her fear/stress/pain of being sick ... Blew up at me & kicked me out .. Luckily I have friends to stay with..
I have been there all along, staying calm & detached when she rages or pushes my buttons b/c I know SHE is feeling negative, ugly, black, fear & loathing inside...
I can only control ME & how I respond ... Can't control her,
very sad ... I have to find a way to check on her but not for me - just for her.
I am done being a whipping girl, others would've walked away long ago but I can't totally when she has no one else
No easy solution