I Love My Parents with Every Part of Myself....
I have 3 older siblings, 2 sisters & 1 brother. They're 14, 12 & 10 years older than I. My oldest sister lives about 30-40 minutes away from my parents (about the same distance she lives from work); I live about 10 minutes away from them. My other sister is about 250 miles away & my brother lives in a different state.
My mom had a stroke in August of 2009 & my dad has been her sole caregiver. I give my dad 'breaks' on the weekends so he can do errands & get some fresh air & not a day goes by that I don't call them.
My sister that lives 250 miles away comes to visit our parents more than the sister that lives in the same area. There is nothing that I wouldn't do to be of 'service' to my parents in order to keep dad's wishes to have mom at home.
There is nothing my mom can do for herself...nothing. My 75 yr old father is exhausted most of the time. He has so much to deal with mom, physically & mentally.
It seems like it's so hard for my oldest sister to make time to just come visit them. Dad & I are the only one's that take care of mom's needs, so it's not like he'd want my sister to take care of mom. Just to give dad a call & say, "Hey, we're going to grab dinner on the way home from work, we'll be there at 5" would be HUGE.
She tells me she asks dad if he needs anything, & of course he tells her 'no', but come on. Coming up for a couple of hours on a Saturday to lay next to mom & rub her head & tell her about the weather, or coming by & telling dad she's going to vacuum for him & then just sit & talk, are things that have not even crossed her mind.
She will be here for the funeral, crying & receiving hugs...but not one from me. My brother...he always has a $$$ excuse why he can't come visit his parents.
Am I mad? YES...to the bone. BUT, I would never trade the privilege that I've been given in taking care of my mom & being someone that my dad can count on. So yes, it's frustrating, but I know where my heart is.