I love my mother, my siblings, not so much
My mother is 84 and has been living in a mobile home on our property for the last year and a half. She was widowed in 2008 and gave up her home and many possessions to move closer to my older sister. Then, after a few years, she gave up more and was moved near my youngest sister. She was very independent, still drove her own car, maintained her apartment, paid her own bills, grocery shopping etc. but she needed company.
I lived 400 miles away, visited when I could and called every few days. My mother would cry and say that she never thought she would have 8 children and end up so lonely. My sister lived 2 blocks from mom but would go weeks at a time without stopping by or calling.
After a year my sister informed us that mom had dementia and she was going to have her put into an assisted living facility. I and my other sisters felt that this was the wrong decision and I offered to move mom to my home.
My husband and I had a vacant mobile home because we had been the caregivers for my deceased mother-in-law. After some convincing mom moved here, 400 miles away from my siblings.
Mom and I have coffee and visit, daily. We go shopping weekly, hit the flea markets, listen to her old LP's, talk politics, plant flowers, laugh and remember. My husband and I take care of her "honey do" list and we're just a few yards away if she needs us. It really is
working out well.
I love my mother and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. She is in chronic pain, doesn't like to take medication, eats too many sweets and can't reach her toenails, but other than that she's in pretty good shape.
Here's the rub, my sister, who wanted to place mom in a facility, has visited once in an 18 month period. She refuses to speak to me because I questioned her judgement and has said some really cruel and hateful things about me to our other sisters.
Now she is "concerned" that I have allowed mom to become obese, just like me, which is just so out of left field. Mom is wearing the same clothing she arrived in, she is 5' 7'' and weighs 150, not obese by anyone's standards.
I'm chunky, but always have been and certainly not obese. She has accused me of "trying to kill our mother by over feeding her", when mom moved her she was only eating honey buns and hot dogs.
She didn't feel like cooking and ate what was convenient. I prepare dinner for her every day, fresh vegetables, meat and eggs, all of which I raise myself. My sister is crazy!
That's it, I just wanted to say that, she's crazy. Self-involved, narcissistic, anorexic and mean spirited. She wanted possession of mom but didn't want to see to mom's needs, which are small compared to so many.
She needs companionship, conversation and love, things my sister couldn't or wouldn't give her. She does not have dementia, she was lonely and isolated.