I Just Need a Break

by Gia
(Wisconsin )

I am caring for my 89 year old mom and have one sibling that seems to shy away from assisting me. My company downsized so, I'm currently unemployed as well. Caring for an adult is much different than caring for a child. I have no problem bathing, dressing or cooking for my mom, but there is no time for me. I do not mean social activities, I just need a break for a few hours or a day off?

I am concerned with my own health and overall well being at this point. Every time I plan to take a break, I feel guilty about it and decide my mom is a greater priority.

At this point, my mom has grown accustomed to our daily routine and if my sibling tries to assist. my throws a fit. Because of my mom's behavior, my sibling has remained distant with any caregiver responsibilities.

I am desperately seeking employment, maintaining the household indoors and outdoors as best I can. We all reside in the same household so,I thought things would work out well.

I was also the primary caregiver for my dad until he passed away a few years ago. However, many family and friends stepped in to help out.

Am I wrong for needing a mental break once a week or so?

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Please talk to her about including siblings
by: Anonymous

Talk to your mother about the way she treats others who try to participate. Explain to her that they want to be included and that they feel left out.

I’m sure they would rather stay away altogether than be treated like intruders. Make sure you are communicating with siblings, keep them in the loop. God bless your siblings.

I only wish my siblings would offer to take on more responsibility. My sister and I have been taking mother to her many long distance appointments. We are just out 2 of 10 siblings all of us live within 40 miles. I’ve been making it known to every sibling the dates times and places of appointment, asking that they take turns doing this so our jobs are not put in jeopardy for taking too much time off work.

Sister and I work full time and cannot do every appointment. 2 out of 10 siblings!? I'm embarrassed FOR them. They seem to lack the self awareness to feel shame when moms youngest brother, who is not in the best of health himself, takes on that task (when sister and I can’t take off work time).

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