I Hate This!

by Doris
(Vermont)

I hate doing this! I hate taking care of my bedridden 89 year old terminally ill father. I don't know how long this is going to go on as he is actually doing better. I have help from VNA, but for the most part it's just me taking care of him, with help from my husband, as I have no living siblings. Really it's not that difficult taking care of him, but I still hate it, and I don't like feeling this way.


When my dad moved in with my husband and I three years ago, he was still able to basically take care of himself. Now his cancer has returned, and we were told he has 6 to 9 months. I know this is temporary, but I still hate it.

I hate being tied down. I hate having to wait on him. I especially hate having to wipe the shit off his balls, excuse my language.

I guess I just always thought that if things ever got to this point that he would go to a nursing home. I never wanted to be his caregiver, and now I am. He wants to die here. Sorry for rambling, just needed to get this off my chest.

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I know how you feel
by: Jacqui

I can feel your pain ....we are looking after my father in law who has cancer, an aorta aneurysm and pancreatic cancer. He is very stoic and strong willed and the most grumpy, humorless person on the planet!

I hate caring for him and he shows no respect to us and I suffer from fibromyalgia ...but to him that's nothing! I am so depressed!

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I share the same feelings
by: Susan

Hi Susan: I feel the exact same way. BUT, I have two parents that are both 90. I am in recovery from alcohol, but not doing well. This is so hard and I have no idea what to do.

My Mother is totally incontinent and is constantly dizzy. Had her checked out thoroughly at an ENT and that's not the problem. Must be neurological. Keep in touch, Susan. You live in a beautiful state. I love Vermont.
Sylvia

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by: Anonymous

The most important thing to remember, at least from my perspective is to not be too harsh on yourself. This is what is happening to folks time and again and the stress and strain of it all cannot really be described to anyone who has not been there.

Be as good to yourself as you can be...do something for you even if you feel a little guilty as there will be times in the future that seem unbearable.
Good Luck and let us know how it is going....

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