I Hate This and I Don't Want to Do It!

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I Hate This and I Don't Want to Do It!

by Bethann
(Darien, CT)

I unfortunately am the closest geographically to my elderly parents - one with Rheumatoid arthritis and one with Parkinson's and dementia.

My mother- with the RA, expects me - commands me - to be there at the drop of her hat no matter what- to step in after the nurse who comes 2x a week leaves.

This disrupts my life on a daily basis - it's never ending and it only gets worse as my father cannot be left by himself at all for any length of time. She refuses to put him in a place where he would be safe - and she expects me to be the step in at all times.

My sisters do not want to hear me complain, they offer no support, only criticism. I want to move away so I don't have to be in this role.

I love my parents but I am not cut out for this and I resent and am angry that I have been put into this position, not by choice.

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I Hate This and I Don't Want to Do It!

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Understand, Me Too
by: Anonymous

I don't agree with Anonymous' advice as the comment above is not dealing with your situation. I am in exactly the same situation.

Geographically I am the closest, one of my sisters is in another country and the other one is married and works and has kids (who she sees a couple of hours a day as she is working all the time in order to pay for her millionaire lifestyle). So I am left to bear the brunt of it all.

I have said to my sister with the kids that it is her choice to work long hours but why should I have to give up my job to look after my parents.

When my father was ill, she went on holiday and I was left looking after him. The reality of the situation is that no one is helping or listening to me when I say this is not fair- why would they? Are they going to change their lifestyle? No.

I am praying that they will wake up to how selfish they are! God have mercy on them!

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In Reply to "I Hate This...."
by: Anonymous

I totally understand where you're coming from. The difference is I have one sibling less than a guarter of mile away and the other lives there!

I have learned one thing in this journey and that is that our anxiety magnifies things in our own minds... not to diminish anything, but I know that when I 'm stressed, things seem a whole lot worse.

Doesn't make things any easier, but true none the less :(

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I Hate This and I Don't Want to Do It!

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I Hate This and I Don't Want to Do It!