I got Myself into This

by Donna
(Dayton OH, USA)

I am 50 years old, lost my job 6 months ago and had nowhere to go. I lived w/my kids while I tried to get on my feet. Mom was dads caregiver at the time. I tried to live with mom and dad and found I was not welcome as both parents did not know who I was.

I notified my siblings about this who told me not to worry about it and to leave mom and dad alone to maintain their independence in their senior years. My resentment against my siblings began.

Then mom went into the hospital. I needed a place to stay so offered to take care of dad in their house. Dad had dementia and didn't know who I was. He required constant prompting and couldn't be left alone. My siblings did not offer to help so I could leave the house. My dad has money, but no babysitter was offered to help either, so instead my 18 year old son lives w/me and is my back-up so I can leave the house, or I take dad with me when I leave.

I now communicate w/my siblings occasionally, but dads care was on me. My brother who is Dad's Power of Attorney and in control of his money, promised to pay me a good weekly amount to do this, and I was grateful. I was not paid as promised. I am resentful again, but grateful that I can have a place to live free of expenses and be with dad.

It's been 4 months. I find my life has stopped. Dad's care takes 24 hours a day and I find my life running second place. I need to focus on getting a job.

I'm fearful to speak up. First, I'd like more support from my siblings and also, I'd like for my brother to follow through on his promise to pay me appropriately.