I Feel so Alone Caring for my Elderly Mother
I also take care of my mother, I am the youngest of four. I have three older brothers and I don't get any help from them. At one point I did ask the oldest brother to talk to the other two brothers to see if they could trade off weekends so I could have sometime for myself. He said he would take care of it, it never happened.
I work a full time job, so myself and two of my brothers pay a sitter to stay with mom. My weekends are always at home,cleaning,cooking,washing and taking care of mom. I know my brothers go out on the weekends and I am sure they have a good time, I don't get any free time.
I cant wait for Mondays to come around so I can get back to work.
They (my brothers) don't see everything I do and that is okay. I know I have told my oldest brother I am at the end of my rope, and sometimes as I am driving I want to pick out a telephone pole to run into. Sometimes I just want to cry, I cant believe they could do this to her (mom) or me. We are alone in this together.
They do call sometimes, and yes she is so happy when they do call, her face lights up as if they are the love of her life. I don't care if they like me or not, but they should be here at nights when she is crying with pain, lay down with her when she is scared to go to sleep because she thinks she is dying, or try to answer the questions of why her son's don't come over
to help. I tell her, Mom I really don't know why they don't help. And in my heart I do know, they have a life and they are going to live it, with or with out us.
I do know this much, she said to me the other day, Oh God I pray nothing happens to you, I just know they would put me in a home. My answer to her was this. Mom I hope nothing happens to me, and yes you maybe right they would put you in a home. I don't try to sugar coat things for her, she knows we are at odds with one another most of the time, My brothers and I that is. I do the best I can, and I take very good care of my mom.
I cant remember the last time I have had six hours sleep, I check on her like a mother checking on her baby. I am not taking care of myself and I know it, sad to say but I don't have the time . If I take anytime off from work it kills my pay check, so the time I do take off is to take mom to her Doctor's appointments.
Oh, did I forget to say one of my brothers don't work, funny but he could take her, but God forbid if I should ask. You know the look, ( I cant believe you want me to give up my day.) Or he wants us to pay for his gas. Do I love my brothers? YES, do I like them? NO not at all, I have never seen such selfish people in my whole life. Always remember, what go's around comes around.