I Feel So Alone and Isolated

by Arlene
(El Paso, TX)

My father has been ill for quite sometime now and with Mother gone it has fallen on me to make sure all is taken care of for dad.

Between my home family and my responsibilities at work there is little or really no time what so ever to have a meaningful life.

Errands, cooking, shopping maintenance around his house, making sure his bills are paid and medicine has been taken, I am exhausted by the time it ends mid evening. I then go home and my husband helps as best he can but there are day after day of putting things off and doing just the minimum to get by so we can take a few minutes to read the paper or watch TV for a bit before collapsing in bed knowing that I (we) have to do it all again tomorrow and most of the day on the weekend.

Even with my husband helping as much as he can because he travels for business, I feel so alone and isolated as there is really no one to confide in or vent on what is going on in my life. I understand this won't last forever as my office co-workers say and that I should be willing to serve my father as he raised me, but I just have this sick, empty feeling in my stomach that years will go by before I am free....and not bound by multiple "push and pulls" that are constantly swirling around my head all day everyday.

Sorry to go on and on but I am getting less and less sleep and my work performance is suffering...we are trying to plan for retirement and the prospect of getting fired because of this is pretty scary especially this close to our retirement.

Thanks for letting me talk this through in my head.

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Alone...you are not alone!
by: Anonymous

It's awful when you feel like you can't talk about your circumstances because its just a mess.

Sometimes life just sucks and I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Alzheimer's is a weird, crazy disease that takes its toll more on the family than the patient. It can definitely push someone to their limit.

Please try to do something nice for yourself, it really can make a difference. Do your best to rest and eat well to keep your energy level up. Try to find a buddy who you can have normal conversations with that don't focus on the home situation.

And, finally...remember to try to smile or laugh...here's a joke that might make you chuckle....take care and know you are in good company....

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Super sex.."

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Super sex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."

by: Anonymous

Dear Arlene,
Although we will never meet, you are not alone.

As I read your post, I felt everything you were saying. There is nothing to apologize for here at this site. I cannot speak for everyone, of course, but I understand your feelings of a never ending cycle of living two lives (yours and your father's)and IT IS exhausting!!

Even going away for a couple days didn't help much when I was going through the same days with taking care of my mom. When I would get back, I felt like I had not left.

You did not ask for any advise so I am giving you a big CyberHUG and letting you know that you have been heard.

Hope this helps a little. Let us know how it's going.
mary in Santa Rosa CA

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