I Feel So Alone and Isolated
(El Paso, TX)
My father has been ill for quite sometime now and with Mother gone it has fallen on me to make sure all is taken care of for dad.
Between my home family and my responsibilities at work there is little or really no time what so ever to have a meaningful life.
Errands, cooking, shopping maintenance around his house, making sure his bills are paid and medicine has been taken, I am exhausted by the time it ends mid evening. I then go home and my husband helps as best he can but there are day after day of putting things off and doing just the minimum to get by so we can take a few minutes to read the paper or watch TV for a bit before collapsing in bed knowing that I (we) have to do it all again tomorrow and most of the day on the weekend.
Even with my husband helping as much as he can because he travels for business, I feel so alone and isolated as there is really no one to confide in or vent on what is going on in my life. I understand this won't last forever as my office co-workers say and that I should be willing to serve my father as he raised me, but I just have this sick, empty feeling in my stomach that years will go by before I am free....and not bound by multiple "push and pulls" that are constantly swirling around my head all day everyday.
Sorry to go on and on but I am getting less and less sleep and my work performance is suffering...we are trying to plan for retirement and the prospect of getting fired because of this is pretty scary especially this close to our retirement.
Thanks for letting me talk this through in my head.