I Feel Like I am a Slave to my Elderly Mother
(Kansas City, MO USA)
I have been living at home with my parents for my entire life with the exception of going away to college in the mid 1980's. I was never encouraged to find myself or make it on my own. Both my parents wanted me to stay at home with them.
I had a good steady job/career working at the telephone company for 17 years. It ended in 2009 after a corporate merger forced me to walk away.
My parents never seemed concerned for me that I lost my job. I filled out application after application for new employment but nobody was doing any serious hiring back in days of the great recession. I more or less gave up on being able to find any decent employment.
I was able to do some odd jobs around the house and my father gave me money as needed so I could continue driving my car and seeing my best friend. I used to travel a lot in years 20's, 30's and 40's. Have not been able to take a vacation since 2008.
My father passed away in 2011 from a stroke.
Living with my widowed mother has taken a toll on my health and well being ever since. For starters, my mother has memory problems. I sometimes think she does not even remember my father. She is as helpless as a newborn kitten.
My brother and I moved her out of the home we lived in for the past 50 years. We thought it might be good to start over in a new home. My mother seemed very excited to be moving into a new home. In fact, it took us nearly two years to find our dream home.
it has now been about one year since we moved in to our new home. Mother has the master bedroom and bath on the main level of the house. My brother and I have bedrooms upstairs.
We thought this living arrangement would provide for some needed privacy. Guess we were wrong.
Mother continues to climb up the stairs everyday. Sometimes as often as 20 times a day. She fell down the stairs several months ago but didn't hurt herself. I fear she will have a serious fall and break her hip one of these days.
My biggest problem with my mother is that she does not want to stay at home. I have to take her out for lunch and dinner everyday. Sometimes we go out for three meals a day. Oftentimes, after eating our meal, she insists on extending the outing by looking around at stores. She just doesn't want to be at home.
Seems the only thing we do at home is sleep. My mother will not let me leave her at home alone.
My brother continues to work his job but I am forced to be a live in slave to my mother. I have lost almost all contact with my very few friends. I feel cut off from the rest of the world.
I just do not know what to do. I hate living like this. It makes me feel so hopeless about the future. I know the stress of living this as is taking a toll on my physical and mental health.
My blood pressure has gone up from 120/70 to as high as 160/95 in the past couple years. My eyesight is terrible and I have dizzy spells and ear canal problems.