I feel Frustration, which Causes Resentment then I feel Guilty for Feeling that Way!

by Carolyn Davis
(Allentown )

My Mother is a great person. I owe her... in this life and maybe others. She had always been needy even when I was a child.

I have tried to stay close to her since I am her only child.

She lives with me now. She has always has a way of getting on my very last nerve. She still does. I love her...but...I spend to much time in the bathroom talking my self into trying to be appropriate. Sometimes I have no choice but to go to my room to put some space between myself and her. Our energy just clashes.. she seems to not notice!!! In fact she seems to enjoy trying to make me play mental jumping jacks!!! Now she has dementia not so much as she would pretend at times..

My daughter ,she is seventeen. We have a good relationship most of the time. She watches Mom while I am at work at night. My mother drives her crazy but she is respectful and helpful to her. She says she can't wait to leave home...she is already planning to find a job and move out. My son is no help with Mom, his only concern is about himself, if he could have my mother take care of him, he would...he lives in her old house which she approved, he pays for nothing...but that is another story...His sister takes care of her sometimes... but I feel it is out of duty more than pleasure. Her other sister does not call or visit.

I try to do
everything I think I am supposed to and let her know she is loved. Even though sometimes I am frustrated and angry I do not let her see it.

I have no relationship which is fine, (if someone can't understand that I can't do some things because of my obligations then I don't need that type of person in my life)...but I have no time to even find a person who may be willing to work with my situation. I have not friends to come over, most of them are married and don't have want to come hang out at he house. I would like some emotional support..some one to say ... something nice, or care if I breath air on the planet!!!

Sometimes I just want to forget about everything and everybody, go to a mountain top...sit on a rock... and look far off in to the sky...watch the moon rise..feel the wind blow...and hear the sounds of crickets and critters...and forget I am a human being... maybe just be a leaf in the wind ..floating..floating..free and happy!!!
Back to reality...Nothing is ever as bad as it seems ..till you are going through it.!!!!!!

My advice...Make up a word ..that means all the things you want to say but cant....use it OFTEN!!
Take time to meditate...take bubble baths....play the music you like as loud as you want at least once a week..

Tell yourself you are a good person and mean it..
Be your own best friend....
Forgive yourself and others...
Laugh Often...even at yourself...(smile) someone loves you!

Comments for I feel Frustration, which Causes Resentment then I feel Guilty for Feeling that Way!

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Not Alone.
by: Robin in Texas

I think there must be a lot of us who are caring for an elderly parent. Like your situation, my mom has always been needy. She was also very abusive and she was in an abusive marriage.

My sister and I mostly lived with my grandmother and both us shared in her care as she grew old..she lived to be over a 100. We truly loved her with all our hearts although she also became demanding at times. My heart goes out to you. Thank goodness you remember that you need to take care of yourself.

Sending you a Hug
by: Melissa

I appreciate what you've written, but can't totally feel your pain since my mom doesn't live with us. I do get your frustration though, in a more general way.

My mom has broken her arm (lives alone still at 82), but I'm the only one who can help her bathe, set her hair, or get her fully dressed.

She takes me for granted and that's the hardest part. I feel invisible. If you feel that way as well, then I hope you find some sort of relief soon. It IS so hard.

Take care and do find that time for you and only you. And, by the way...you express yourself beautifully. :)

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Caregiver Stress.

Share this page:
Enjoy this page? Please pay it forward. Here's how...

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.

Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved

Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Ugh!!

    Dec 28, 20 12:21 PM

    So I lost my mom 18 months ago. After her passing I would come to my parents house to clean and cook a couple of times a week for my dad. He still gets

    Read More

  2. 16yrs of Elderly care with NO HELP

    Dec 28, 20 12:18 PM

    I came back home in 2004 to help my dad as he had cancer, he eventually passed away few years later. Well here I am am in 2020 still at home taking care

    Read More

  3. I'm fed up

    Jul 22, 20 01:11 PM

    Hi I'm 20 years old and i live with my mother and sister. My sister is 18 and she works at our local grocery store and is usually doing her own thing.

    Read More