I Don't Want my Dad to Drive Anymore

by Angela
(Shiloh, IL)

My father is in excellent health physically and actually has lost about 30lbs since he has come to live with me. Visit the gym 4x a week and is in silver sneakers. He isn't needing any kind of actual assistance with self care BUT I am seeing the signs of dementia that would translate to dangerous proportions if he were to drive, I fear.

He has no situational awareness and tends to have confusion on the simplest tasking. He can carry on a conversation and has cognitive skills but it is the little things that I see causing bad decision making while driving.

He had to have surgery in his right eye due to glaucoma and has not been able to drive for about 5 months. However, he will be able to very soon and I am concerned. He has attempted to bully his way into driving during this hiatus even though his license says he has to wear glasses and he has none at this time, since the healing process prevents a correct prescription.

I will drive with him personally but my fear is that he will harm others once he gets behind the wheel. He seems to lack the cognizance in quick decision making and is delayed somewhat in response times.

We had that conversation but my dad has always had a habit of saying he will comply and then does what he wants. It is frustrating but I did place him on his own insurance and he has a leased vehicle.

I just want some feedback in how to handle this...my husband is TDY (temp duty) about 15hrs away until May and my dad will get his glasses again before my husband returns. I am alone in my endeavor lol
Thank you for any feedback provided.

Yes, my dad has always been a bit selfish and obtuse when it comes to my feelings and very controlling in the past to present. I have been able to curve it somewhat but it is exhausting.

Thanks again

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