I DON'T HAVE SIBLINGS!!!!!!!
by Joan G.
I am 67 years old, married with a daughter and grandson who live 50 miles away.
My mother is 87 and lives five miles away. I visit every day(except Wednesday) - going at 9.30 a.m. (and sometimes before) and don't get home until after 2.00 p.m.
She can attend to her personal care but I do everything else for her, shopping, cleaning, gardening (my husband does help with this also),making her a mid-day meal,laundry, prompting her with medication etc. etc.
And I feel really resentful that my retirement years are passing by and my husband and I are unable to do the things we want to do.
She has no friends or visitors and won't entertain volunteer visitors. My daughter phones her weekly and goes to see her about every six weeks or so. She works full-time and has a six year old to look after.
In January, Mum had agreed to go into a respite home whilst we went on holiday, but at the last minute refused to go!! What a stressful time!!
Our relationship was at rock bottom. I arranged for private carers and went on the holiday but felt that I was abandoning her. Since then we had a short break of three days with our little grandson.
My mother says such things as "you don't NEED a holiday, you might want one, but you don't NEED one!" "Whose idea was it to go on holiday anyway...David's?" "I'll be on my own"
When my husband first retired two years ago we went away every six weeks or so just for a week-end, and my mother used to say "why do you need to be going away so often" "you're copying people".
Seven years ago she even said (after we had returned from a fortnights holiday).."I hope you're not going to book any more holidays abroad as I was poorly when you were away".. Arghhhhh!!!!!!!!