I do not Know What to do Anymore!!!

by ByLindy
(Savannah, GA, USA)

My husband was diagnosed with cancer last year, but is in remission at this time. He has had a few pin strokes also. But he has been doing very well.


His 83 year old mother has always lied, been very manipulative, hateful and cunning. She has pushed away every one in family, stays in a financial mess and would never take her medication as prescribed.

So, ends up in hospital every time. She got very ill about 7 months ago and was in hospital again. Once better, physician would not let her go home unless she had a caregiver, or would send to nursing home.

No one in family, 2 other brothers, grandchildren, etc. would not help out and still doesn't. So, We agreed "reluctantly" to move in with her so she would not lose her home, etc., but with some grounds rules on when it comes to her medication, finances, etc.

We forgave her for how she treated us in the past and prayed "maybe", it would be different. I quit my job to take care of both of them! Well, she did fine for about 4 months. Now, she is much better and for the last few months has refused to let anyone help with her finances, medication, etc.

She has gotten herself in a mess again and is starting the games again. I have been taking care of her and my husband, but told my husband that I was going to have to go back to work and find a place to move. He is really distraught about this, but at the same time, says he goes with me, but also has guilt about leaving her.

Says, I need to be patient. But, he will not sit her down and let her know the problem. I feel he needs to do this, because it is his mom and if she gets upset with me, causes issues. If she gets upset with him, she doesn't. I don't know what to do anymore.

I love my husband more than anything, but why am I stuck doing the caregiving and "fixing" things with HIS mom. I always try to do the right thing and be nice and pleasant, but I am constantly getting migraines and I am sure it is the stress. I feel so helpless.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Caregiver Stress.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Conundrum

    May 21, 19 03:13 PM

    How is it that a 98 year old dying person is able to suck out every bit of life energy from me. I am 30 years younger. I completely and successfully manage

    Read More

  2. Lost

    May 17, 19 01:54 PM

    Brought my 81 year old mother into my new downsized home. She can still dress, go to the restroom by herself, cognitive issues related to Parkinson dementia

    Read More

  3. Going Bonkers in Georgia

    May 17, 19 01:52 PM

    I have to start off with saying I have a big old dog named Bonkers! But I am borrowing his name for this title only! How am I coping...? I don't really

    Read More