I am Terribly Stressed
My parents took me and my two children in after a bad marriage to an emotional abuser. I got a job, but the salary was not enough to allow me to get a home of my own.
By the time I was able to, my parents were getting older and frailer and I felt I needed to stay and help them. My mother had severe arthritis and hypertension.
I ran her errands, took her to the doctor, took charge of her medications and helped in every way I could until she became unable to stand and had to go to a nursing home.
Then my father had a stroke that left him with dementia that got progressively worse. I work full time and cannot afford to retire. I took care of him for three years as he declined more and more mentally.
He could not form a sentence, he began to pee in corners, he would fly into rages, he would wander out into the neighbor's yard, turn on the stove - you get the picture.
I have 8 siblings 5 of them live in town. I got almost no help from them and when I would try to call, no one would answer. I was still working and my father was wandering around at night. I could not take it anymore and had a breakdown.
He is in assisted memory care now. And most of my siblings will not talk to me. They said my breakdown was just "throwing a fit" even though I told them my doctor diagnosed me. They throw it in my face that I raised my voice to my father.
Well, try and come home to a pile of feces on the floor or a washer full of table scraps and try to work on only three hours sleep.
I am seeing a therapist now.
My father is actually much happier and is safe. My sister who is the worst about calling me out has not been to see him in months.
I need to let it go, but it hurts me so much to be accused of being cruel. I was not and I did my best, but I'm 64 years old and I just couldn't take it anymore.