I am "mean to Mommy"

by Janie
(Indiana )

Just purely frustrated. My mother is all sweet to the world but the minute no one can hear the conversation I'm the devil. My mother is 93, I'm 56. She constantly tells me I'm "mean to Mommy. Mommy took you in like a stray dog (I'm adopted) and you should be grateful to Mommy."


Her mobility is getting questionable with a Walker. She weighs twice what I do and thinks I should hold her up. I physically cannot do that. Right now, she lives independently in a nice little apartment.

But on errand day the last month or so, the main topic is what a wretch I am for not moving her into our house. I just can't. This is beyond stressful.

Comments for I am "mean to Mommy"

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Borderline personality disorder
by: Sherri

Your mom sounds borderline. She is using you, she is purposely disregarding your needs, and at 56, she's not your 'mommy'. This is her exerting power by keeping you the hapless little girl, a manipulation. Don't play that role. Decide what you are, and are not willing to do. It's okay. You don't have to be her little bitch.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Been there too
by: Anonymous

Sounds to me like you need to get other caregivers in with your mom. No discussion on it either. Plain and simple your mom is abusing you. I see by your post it's taking a toll on you.

IMO it's time to step back. I did the same thing - have an abusive mom and had to step back. Glad I did, and wish I had done so sooner. Hugs for you - it's hard, but it's for the best.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Unrealistic expectations
by: Anonymous

You are not "mean to mommy (dearest). She has unrealistic expectations of you. The way she talks to you is inappropriate and cruel. Do not make the mistake of letting her move in with you. Assisted living would be the best option at this point.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
You know you can’t do don’t
by: Anonymous

My mom has done the same thing to me in the past. Sweet as she can be in front of others and abusive as heck in private. I’ve had to stop dealing with her on a daily basis.

Fortunately she’s in an assisted living so now I don’t have to, but when she lived on her own it was more difficult. Maybe you should consider getting other help to go in several days a week so you get a break from her abuse before it completely breaks you. Just a thought.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Caregiver Stress.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Ugh!!

    Dec 28, 20 12:21 PM

    So I lost my mom 18 months ago. After her passing I would come to my parents house to clean and cook a couple of times a week for my dad. He still gets

    Read More

  2. 16yrs of Elderly care with NO HELP

    Dec 28, 20 12:18 PM

    I came back home in 2004 to help my dad as he had cancer, he eventually passed away few years later. Well here I am am in 2020 still at home taking care

    Read More

  3. I'm fed up

    Jul 22, 20 01:11 PM

    Hi I'm 20 years old and i live with my mother and sister. My sister is 18 and she works at our local grocery store and is usually doing her own thing.

    Read More