I am a Little Jealous

This doesn't sound nice to say but my friend's mother passed away and for a brief instant, I was jealous. It's not that I wanted the lady to die or for my friend to lose her mother, but I was jealous because she is now free from the burden of care taking.

My mom is thriving under my care while my health is declining. There's something wrong with that.
She is sucking the life out of me and I wonder if I'll even survive this ordeal.

Having her live with us is nothing short of a nightmare.

I wish I didn't have to be a caretaker any more.

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same here too
by: chica

Really can relate to the above depressing comments cause I am also in the same position and no it doesn't sound horrible .

we are taking care of adult toddlers with a mind of their own and a huge ego still while we whittle away our adult lives as single moms as in my case with no free time to even have a cup of coffee or read a newspaper and hear your own thoughts as in my case.

I am taking care of my 80 year old father and it is the same.for the past 3 years all he does is make me angry upset stressed out till my BP is high. it is depressing. What can we do but support each other through sites like this where we realize we are not alone.

Me too!
by: Bittersweet

Don't feel sorry for your honest feelings. There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish my mother would die. When someones mom passes; I'm a little jealous too.

I understand
by: Anonymous

Don't feel bad. I've been at this a year now 24/7 only being able to leave about an hour a week. I have become bitter, angry, hopeless and with no time limit to look forward to, horribly depressed. I just started on an anti-depressant last week.

I know how you feel. My mom lived alone and was in such bad shape when I moved her in with me that I truly didn't expect this to last long. She has rallied while I have gone downhill.

Every time I turn the calendar over to the next month I have to blink back tears as I watch time just flying by and wonder how long will this go on?

My best friend went to her mom's house last month and saw her sitting in her chair with a book open in her lap. She was dead. Just gone. I won't even lie about this - I felt immense anger that this can't happen to my mom. I just keep asking, what is the purpose of this?

I know that sounds terrible, but in caregiving you walk a thin line between hating the person and hating the situation, especially as things get worse and worse and it feels like you're just taking care of a log.

There is no answer and I feel sorry for anyone who finds themselves in this situation.

Felt the Same Way Several Years Ago
by: Anonymous

My friends father passed, and from that point you could just see the stress melt away. There was no change really until after the estate was coming to completion and things were settling down.

They started traveling, going out to dinner, movies, having time of their own and it showed...felt bad for thinking that way but got over it.

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