Hurt Feelings

by Anne
(England)

My story is about my partners mum. She lives near Newcastle and is 86 with dementia. His younger brother lives near to her whereas we live 180 miles away. Their dad died 7 and a half years ago and she inherited £65,000 plus another £115,000 four years later from a sister.


His brother took third party authority over her bank accounts about 3-4 years ago. One of the younger brother's sons bought a 2 bedroom property 3 years ago, and we suspect that their mum has paid a good amount towards it.

The point is though that nobody has seen the accounts for any of the money since their dad died, even though they have been asked for both in writing and in person to the younger brother.

He has now applied for power of attorney which my partner has blocked because of the situation. He not only feels there has been mismanagement of their Mum's account, but she has needed medical care such as cataracts in both eyes which could have been paid for out of her savings and which was mentioned to him at the time two years ago, but he chose to disallow her to bypass the NHS and now it is too late to operate on one of the eyes.

She now has walking problems also which nobody was doing anything about (she has injured herself having fallen down the stairs twice) and this is what has caused her leg problems.

It turns out she needs special insoles or shoes so that she can walk properly, otherwise she will have serious problems with her hips I was told by a physiotherapist at the Newcastle hospital when I took her there three weeks ago.

She is living with a commode in the back utility room behind the kitchen if she can't get to the toilet upstairs! It's disgusting what's going on!

The social services are now involved but don't seem much help because she has savings and the house is worth a lot too. We just want everything just to be spent on her and are now going to court about it all, but it's ridiculous the way the system works.

When you approach the banks too, you find they aren't straightforward with you and can't be trusted either. It's so stressful and all we want is for an old woman to receive the care she should be entitled to, rather than be controlled by his control freak of a brother!

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take away his power
by: Greenacres

Why is he in charge of her money. Is the dementia the reason you can't do anything to drop him like a hot potato and get him out of her finances? How is he in charge?!!

Please tell me she can't give him POA. Especially if she has dementia. This has happened with my brother in law. He tried to get mom to sign quit claim deed for her home and he didn't want her to mention it to the caregiver (daughter) or any of the family.

Granny was 89, we lost her last month and my brother in law passed just 2 months before her. She was mentally fit and it broke her heart, the way he was acting. She just wanted to be fair to all her children.

She was trying to sell her house, he made it impossible by claiming an easement that wasn't even his. I now know it isn't love for the parent, ALOT of families fight over just the chance of inheriting something. It isn't right, for it should be a beautiful gift, not a birthright!

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