How Can I Help if I Need Help Myself?

by Cory
(Miami, FL, USA)

I don't even know where to begin. I am dealing with aging parents that desperately need my help.

They have been living together for over 40 years, but are legally divorced (long story). They live in a condo that is falling apart.

My father is disabled after suffering multiple strokes in 2004 and losing mobility of his right side. He is severely depressed, has incontinence and constantly soaks the bed. He doesn't want to shower or leave the house.

My mom has health issues herself, but is still somewhat mobile so she is the one that takes care of him as best she could.

The condo they live in was flooded about 2 years ago and still hasn't been repaired. I suspect mold is prevalent. My dad's bathroom is horrific and small. His bed needs to be tossed and replaced, the carpet in the rooms, the list goes on and on.

I am their only daughter, but I am battling SEVERE depression right now. I just lost my only sister in April because her doctor misdiagnosed her relapsed multiple Myeloma as being bursitis.

She had just turned 50 in November. I had been living with her, and became her daily caregiver until the day she died, 4/16. Right now I hate life but I can't leave my parents living this way any longer.

Some time ago I had come across some agencies that you can pay to help you take care of things.

Not a home health agency, but someone that can handle legal affairs as well as benefits available. I can't seem to find it now. Was I dreaming this or does this actually exist?


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I agree
by: Anonymous

You have a lot of grief on your hands. It is true there are those who can help. Please find a support group for care takers. You can usually find information on these by calling the senior center near you.

You may want to call the department of aging and look on the web for resource centers. Also if you have insurance please utilize it for counseling for your self, this has helped me out taking care of an elderly ill mother and also with other issues that have come up for me.

I have found a lot of good people at my church who have come into my life to help out. You defiantly need support. It will make a world of difference for you. Depression is so difficult. But there is hope. Way's will open up for you. Hope is always available.

You Still can Live your Life
by: Anonymous

You sure are at the crossroads aren't you? This could be the best years of your life if you could imagine it. Your story is heart breaking to be sure. But there is always hope and a chance to turn things around.

There is faith and prayer and more sisters and family who aren't really related but are can find them. Believe it is possible. That's the first step and perhaps you are already there.

Sounded like you were looking for a case manager. Look up the resources of Council on Aging in your state to find exactly what you need. If you can arrange helpers for your parents you can start to reclaim your life: get exercise, eat a healthy diet, practice gratitude and joy under all conditions.

There is always hope where there is even a small flame left of a tapering candle. The love you had for your sister, and the love for your parents, the love you have for yourself will guide you.

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