Here's my dilemma with dad!

Here's my dilemma with dad!

I'm an only child so there is no one to help. I love dad, but some ways I don't. My dad's is great about alienating people!

In fact he's alienated every one in the family, he's done this all my life. My kids both daughters tried to take care of him, my son went to see him a lot. They don't go see him any more because of his actions and now he complains about them not being family because they don't come see him.

He's always has laid a guilt trip on me since I was 16 when he and mom divorced. He' verbally abused all of us and sexually harassed all 3 of my wives, plus had a sexual relation with first wife.

There's so much he's done and most is when he's drinking, but of course he never has done any thing wrong. He's actually been kinder to his ex-step kids than his family.

Last year we decided to sell our house and did on 11/20/12 and go full time traveling. As we were getting closer he started putting more pressure on my youngest daughter, until he chased her off. We where hoping she'd be there to check in on him more.

Question did he do it on purpose yes he did he knew we wanted to travel. I have a guilty feelings about going more, where not getting any younger and don't know how long we have ourselves who does right!

Some one might think take him with you, he lived with and read the part about sexual harassing. A 40ft 5th wheel isn't big enough.

I guess I'm venting here and don't know if there is a way for people to reply here. I can't afford putting him in some elderly care. I need to lead my life I know down the road he'll need me more.

We've been care giver also to my wife's adoptive mother for 5 years. She had 2 blood kids that didn't do a dam thing to help and grand kids, they all lived with in miles of her. Not even a day off to go to a movie unless we took her.

She had Alzheimer's and that was not a easy task. I'M not saying we minded taking care of taking care of MIL. I just know being a care giver is hard on our life and marriage life it's been a strain. My wife help with dad a lot but I don't want her with him by her self.

I don't know what else to say. Some might judge me on writing this but you don't know all this. Say what you want I don't actually matter I just needed to say it I guess.

Comments for Here's my dilemma with dad!

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Go!
by: Anonymous

Go Traveling!! Do it, do it now before you sucked under completely! Do NOT take dad (what an overwhelming notion!)

I put on an invisible 'no guilt' cloak now. I take care of mom but do not want to spend holidays with family who have been so....untrustworthy, let's say. They try to make me feel guilty about not being at Thanksgiving but I did not take the bait.

I feel good about my decision to have Thanksgiving with friends (although I did arrange to get mom over there to be with the rest of the family).

Go while you are young enough to drive that RV of yours!! No judgement here!

We traveled around the entire U.S. for 6 weeks (not long enough) back in 2005 and those memories are so great that just thinking of that trip makes me happy!
GO!
Let us know what happens.
m

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Door Mat.
by: Leasa

No one can make you a door mat unless you give them permission. Your father sounds horrible and ungrateful, so why on earth would you want to sacrifice another relationship to him and not take your deserved rest and vacations? What's he done for you, ever?

Seriously, think about it. If you back out, someone will step in. Don't put this terrible burden on your children, that's so not fair. Either your father will man up and look after his own affairs or social services will. A nursing home for this sex offender would be a better life than he deserves.

You only have so much time on this earth. You could be dead before dear old dad. Step back and ask yourself, what do I owe him? I think you'll find this bill has been paid.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2018 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Under Surveillance!

    Dec 13, 18 03:31 PM

    Having my 85 year old mom living with us is like being under surveillance. She is constantly watching what we are doing, listening to our conversations

    Read More

  2. Too Alone in This for Too Long

    Dec 13, 18 03:31 PM

    This morning, having my coffee, out of the blue, I had a panic attack. I felt lightheaded, nauseous, high anxiety. I had to stop everything and go lay

    Read More

  3. 8th Christmas with Mom

    Dec 13, 18 03:29 PM

    This year I’m not even putting up a tree. It’s just me and mom and she doesn’t know, nor will remember if told, that Christmas is happening. The day of,

    Read More