Help !! Who Else is Dealing with Elderly Mother-in-Laws ?

by Dee

My husbands father passed away almost a year ago now and its been tough for his mom. But she has 4 son's, one has quit his job(retired)fortunately he could do it, well she has always been good to me & respectful, but the last time the son that is her caregiver took a mini vacation, she was downright mean to me. She lashed out at me because he brought her to our house to stay from a Saturday to Saturday only. She agreed, but didn't like it AT ALL!

We tried to make sure she was comfortable here while she was here .... we both even asked her if she wanted to go home or if she got ready to go home, we would bring her home! WELL .... She made sure my life had become a living hell, she said mean thing's, I could do nothing right!

My husband had to go to work, I get up with him every morning at 5am & he didn't see or hear any of this , when he came home she was soooo delightful that sugar couldn't melt in her mouth! I only have one other sister-in-law that can help but refuses to or does not want to help out at all, because they have never gotten a long.

So it's ME who is stuck with her now! I do not know how much longer I can do this without letting my anger & resentment ruin our marriage, because after all ... this IS HIS MOM!

She has been left with money for her needs, nothing to worry about financially & that's another thing she told me. I WAS NOT GOING TO RECEIVE ANY OF HER FOUR BOYS INHERITENCE !!!

WELL ... I DO NOT WANT IT OR NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT THAT !!!I need help in dealing with this & I need encouragement PLEASE !!!!

I do not want to have her cause my husband and I problems but if she continues I see it will!! I see my future now!! If I could work outside the home I would, trust me!

But I have degenerated slipped disc's in my back & herniated disc and am in pain a lot, but that seems to not matter! I always thought my sister-in-law was making things up about her, I've been in this family for 11 years now & I know now she was not making it up. Like I say she wasn't like this the time's before when I would stay with her, but all of a sudden she is ... just mean & very hurtful with her words.

How to deal with this, I NEED HELP!!! Before it ruin's my relationship's with my husband, her son!

And another thing , I can't have my friend's over text or talk on the phone to anyone at all as she gets very very upset if I do , so it's not worth it anymore !!! HELP !!

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MIL has created a problem in my marriage
by: Anonymous

My situation is similar except he picks his mother even though he didn't say it he shows it. He makes it seem there are no other options. Abandoned the marriage and our kids for her.

Eldery MIL Ruined My Marriage
by: Anonymous

My husbands mother is 85 shes selfish and mean. He was suppose to stay with her temporary cause she was lonely. She seems fairly healthy except for the normal health problems elderly people get. She milks it cause my husband is the only one that would put up with her.

His siblings don't want to help. He didn't spend Christmas with us the first time because he said she didn't feel good and didn't want to be alone. She didn't want him to spend my birthday with me she didn't want to be alone but he did anyway. She wanted to be involved i guess.

She doesn't want him to spend time with our kids she cries and says no one loves her. He said she wants to live with us he doesn't give me a choice. I don't know what to do.

Stop being a martyr
by: Anonymous

It sounds pretty obvious to me that what you NEED to do is talk to your husband about his mother, and tell him that either she goes or you go.

The old bag is probably getting dementia or Alzheimer's and is thus irrational in her demands or behaviors. Either this or she's one of those wicked old witches who resents her son's wife (YOU!) and is childishly jealous and is trying to become a wedge in your marriage.

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