Help, Cannot Stand it Any More

by P Taylor
(Folkestone)

I have really enough i can 't take it any more ! I have written to u before , but my mother is 88 in 5 days but she is always difficult and wants to rule our lifes ! (my daughter 27 and me 54) Sure she has the bigning of Helseimers or demancia as she is more or less ok some times and then she talks a lot of none sense the other ! i Have a life to lead so does my daughter! My elder sister does not understand what life has become with mother! But, she has her own life and only comes visiting when she feels like it...Her son 21, hardly never comes to visit his grandmother, but then she always gives him a few pounds....

Why can NO one understand the stress my daughter and I have, having mother in our household. Next, I will be too old to get a life for my self!! But no one care as long as they are all got their lives.....Help cannot cope any more !

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May I Answer You ?
by: Anonymous

I won't tell you that I understand just to please you because I'm just 25 and have to take care of my grand mother alone!

Yes, because no one cares as long as they all have their lives. And how could I do that, she's 85 - just one word because we are FAMILY.

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I Hear You
by: Nadia

Dear friend, as a fellow caregiver myself, I know what you are going through. My mother is 87 and I am 54 I am single and also have an older sister busy with her own life.

It is hard I know and our days are pretty frustrating and we feel angry and guilty all the time. Allow yourself all these feelings it is human. You are doing a great job and you are stronger than you think!

What worked for me is to take things one day at a time and to do something creative for those very lonely moments and there are many of those!.

Although it is not fair you have been dealt these cards for a reason. In my case I think the reason was to make me stronger and able to deal with emotional matters.

Allow yourself some me time it is very important, maybe you and your daughter can do a hobby together, listen to music or whatever the two of you like to do together.

What I have done this year is to get my sister to take some responsibility as well, she will now take mom a few days in a month to give me a break. Try speaking to your sister it may just work.

God be with all of you , stay strong remember one thing as hard as it is, your situation will not last forever, try and make it as easy as possible for ALL OF YOU.
LOL

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Put Mother in a Good Home
by: Anonymous

Try to find a good placement for your mother. It's the only way you will have a life. Perhaps you and your daughter will be able to recover your own well being if she is cared for by professionals. Your other sibling does not seem to care at all.

Good luck.

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