Help Advice Please

by Cassie
(Malaysia)

Hi,

I have four siblings. My mother stay with me since I got married. I invited her to stay with me during that time because I felt lonely living in my new house with just my husband.

Things was fine back then. In these 7 years, we now have 2 kids age 3 and 5. Mum was not working after my first son was born. BTW, my brother stay with me too. My two sisters stay and married at other country. Both married 2 years back.

My mum got her retirement fund. And it was borrowed to me and my brother. I borrowed 60% of it.
Mum confess that she is not happy because she has no money now so, me and brother plan to pay her back monthly since we can't afford to pay her in lump sum.

I have raised the issue to my siblings that I can't afford to support mum in long run due to the spike of living cost.

Plus, I got stressed out with mum living with me due to her attitude. I truly appreciate what mom has done for me all these years. But also, for all these years, only I'm the one who is facing mum.

During her PMS period, I'm the one with her too. I have been in emotional stress for years which I didn't tell my siblings before this.

FYI, my mum had went thru a failed marriage and has support 4 of us financially. But my two sister were staying with grandparents most of their childhood time.

I have never request any single cents from my siblings during the past 7years. And they only officially give mum pocket money since 2 years back. And sometimes they skip giving.

But when they have money, they would give more and bring mum goes travel.

When mum goes travel, me and husband feels good because nobody is there to nag and show us black face. We are breathing in our home.

I work and come home cook happily. We do the house chores together happily. Take care the kids happily.

When I voice out telling my siblings all these, asking to plan for mum's future financial and living cost, they make it like I'm calculating and perhaps my fault. I shouldn't?

They said mum can move to stay with them. But thinking that it is hard for both the in laws stay together. And it is not hard for me?

What about my husband who has been tolerant with mum for 7 years? My husband is not my mum's son. He wouldn't understand how my mum has gone thru her past years.

Who is there to help me financially and emotionally? Why nobody understand the stress that I'm facing from my work, husband, kids, mother? 7years absorbing, my brother said, like a sponge.

Now when I voice out, it become my fault?

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