Heck Yes I am Angry

by Dog
(Under a Rock and a Hard Place)

I would say at an earlier time I was disappointed in the lack of support I get from my siblings. I am angry now. Their lack of support after me telling them exactly how it is, what I could use for support and I get nothing.

I had to literally BEG to get my sisters involvement and her resolution was to put her in a home close by her.

The home isn't covered my medicare I said so when mom runs out of money, she's out on the curb. Sister didn't seem to care about that. I ask for help and all I see are their backs or a "put her in a home."

We can't take care of her here. No offer to come sit for a week to give me a break.

Indeed she may wind up in a home because taking care of her is slowly killing me. If something happens to me no one will step up to take care of her....Hope others have had better success in taking care of their elders.

End of story....

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So Glad I'm Not Alone
by: Anonymous

I can relate to all of these comments. I'm the youngest of five, but feel like an only child.

My brothers do not offer any help or support. My mom is currently in a nursing rehab with a broken hip. Only one of my brothers is in the area, he and his wife went away the first weekend after she fell, and are on vacation at the beach this week.

I have not had a vacation in years.

I am left to deal with everything on my own. I get angry and sad that I can't make any plans because every time I do, something happens to mom and I have to drop everything, run, and deal with it.

No one else in the family has to do that. Only me. Right now I'm so worried about what to do with her that I'm constantly sick to my stomach, crying and can't sleep.

I have no one to talk to because my co-workers have made it clear that they don't want to hear it. I think I may kill myself. That seems to be the only way out of this...

Mom's broke and I'm Angry and Broke?
by: To young for this!

My mother never would win an award for being the best mother to 4 children, 3 boys and me the only daughter.

Never did give love and care as we grew up and now demands the care that we are bankrupt of. She spent 95,000.00 in 5 years while her son was forced into homelessness. She refused to help when I begged her. Now she can't pay the rent. I work in childcare and struggle each month to pay my bills.

I'm so angry at her and she doesn't help me , try to help her. Sometimes I don't care what happens to her, and then I feel guilty for the though. I do not want to live with a negative , selfish, lonely , and now broke mother. But I have to, cause I'm the daughter, single, and no life.

Thanks for being here and letting me share! I feel better.

Angry too
by: Anonymous

I am angry too. My sibling does nothing to help. My mother has condoned her lack of involvement for years on the pretense that she is married and has her own family whereas I am single so it is my lot to help her.

Now that she is nearing the point of possibly needing 24/7 care in the near future (perhaps within a year) she is sending out overtures that she wants to remain at home. How is that going to happen? I am the only one of 3 children helping her (one sibling has been estranged for 40+ years so I cannot count on her, the other one lives 2-1/2 hrs away). I work full time and have a home of my own. I have already given up 7 years of my life to help her, am I now supposed to give up my job and my house too?

I would be glad to keep my mother at home and help her IF my sibling would commit to helping me and IF my mother would agree to move into my home which is more live-able than hers and IF she would agree to some supplementary help. However, she doesn't agree to any of this. All she cares about is making demands on me. She could care less about how her demands affect my life.

I am angry at my sibling for not helping me and yet expecting frequent "updates" on a silver platter.

I am angry about the thoughtless remarks of coworkers like "I hope I'm not a burden on my children when I get older" and "isn't it time you put her in a nursing home". I am tired of my private life being pried into, examined, and commented on. I am tired of advice.

I am angry at thoughtless friends who constantly talk about all of the trips they've taken, their cruises and golf vacations, and whatnot. I am sick to death of hearing about their weekend getaways and the restaurants and movies they've gone to. It is thoughtless of them to keep going on about it when they know that I cannot do any of this.

All I want is a kind remark from JUST ONE PERSON.

I'm with You
by: Christine

Your specific situation is different from mine but my heart is with you. Our parents took care of us when we were infants, but what we are doing now is something else entirely.

My Dad left the care of his mother to his sister and I hate him for that. I'm not sure how he views his sick wife. With his mother, he chose comfort over obligation. I will never do that, yet I dread my future. I'm angry too.

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