Heartbreaking....

by Anonymous

My mother who will be 84 has been exhibiting some signs of mental illness / dementia for quite some time. She also I've been told, can be very harsh which I had never experienced until 6 months ago when she got angry at a store for no apparent reason and went off and has not spoken to me now since this happened.

Any time I try to send a message she goes off on me. It was as simple as me asking her why she got upset with the sales lady and walked away.

It seems that nothing makes her happy anymore and it's dragging me down. Prior we talked two times a day but as I look back there were a few other incidences similar to this which were out of character for her.

She catches herself but is becoming more difficult to predict in social settings. Any suggestions on how to connect as I've tried numerous approaches.

She is very mean to my dad and he is at a loss and says she comes and goes half the time and he never knows what he'll get.

She is also telling lies on incidences that have just happened. I sense she is losing control and is working overtime to make it right. Any suggestions on what my next step might be?

She has done this with my sister and brother also who don't live close by. I'm the only sibling living in the area.

She is unwilling to ever look at her behavior and my guess is she would refuse medication if they prescribed it to her.

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Thanks for you advice
by: Anonymous

Thank you so much for your advice. In regard to your question about memory, my dad has mentioned that he has to tell her things three times or more and he was blaming it on her hearing. She was recently referred by her Doctor for a neurological exam.

I'm hoping that she will eventually get the help she needs as I think my dad being so close to it has been covering for her or just not seeing it as he's too close to it. I plan to connect with her Dr so that may help with the process as she is not letting any family members in the loop at all. Thanks so much!

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Thanks for your feedback
by: Anonymous

Thanks so much for your feedback . I have considered Alzheimer's. She recently was referred to a neurologist by her doctor. I'm hoping a professional can talk her in to getting the help she needs as she won't let anyone close to her help at this point. Thanks again!

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She needs some help
by: Anonymous

Have you taken her to a neurologist for a consult? Your Mom sounds as if she has Alzheimer's.

There are some medications to slow the progress. Being argumentative is a big sign. My mother has been going through this for about 4 years. As hard as it can be I have had to change MY behavior towards her as she can not help how she is. I never argue or point out her behavior.

I just love her through it. You didn't mention her memory. I can tell my mom something and 5 minutes later she will ask me again. She also lies about whether she has eaten and neglects to tell me if she has fallen or has a medical issue.

She is in an assisted living now and loves it. I see her almost everyday, take her on errands or trips. Good luck to you.

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