Grateful Allowed to Vent
I'm so grateful to have found this site! It's helps to know I'm not alone. I too am caring for a elderly parent, one who was extremely abusive to me in my childhood.
To say this is overwhelming is a understatement. He is 74 years old has dementia, diabetes, almost completely blind, has several toes cut off due to the diabetes, broke a hip and is incontinent and cannot get around without assistance and is completely dependent on me for everything.
From feeding him,giving him his medications to bathing and going to the bathroom. I'm going insane! I don't have a moments peace! Why am I giving up my life to a man who abused me my entire childhood!
It's just not right and totally unfair. I have two siblings but neither can be bothered. I am so angry, frustrated and exhausted! I resent the fact that I am expected to care for a man who abused alcohol his entire life and his declining health is the residual from that abuse!
I pray everyday for God to give me the strength to get thru this but lord I'm at the end of my rope. Some days are better than most but today is a hard day!
I understand so many of you on this site who are obviously as tired as I am. You really wouldn't understand unless you too are in the thick of it. I just don't think people understand how it takes over your life and how stuck you really feel.
It angers me nobody wants to help but everybody has opinion when you have decided to sell his land to be able to place him in a home. The ones who actually believe I have a responsibility to keep them updated on his health issues and should have called them to keep them apprised.
Yep those people! As if you have the time to do that! If I had extra time for myself I sure wouldn't be using it for that..really give me a break literally! The concern for him is selfish and hollow its so they ease their own guilt.
I'm trying my hardest to do the right thing but sometimes I feel so alone in this Situation I have to block out all the negative people/energy just to survive another day, but its getting harder each day! Four years too long!
I have to tell myself that I have given him more compassion than he's deserved... From a victim to her abuser!