Granddaughter taking care of Grandmother

by Rachael
(Smithfield VA)

I am a 30 year old woman living with my 93 year old grandmother. I've lived with her for about 5 years now. At first it was okay because she needed help and I needed a place to stay. As time went on I found myself more and more angry. I was angry at my family for not coming by more, especially my mom and aunt.


I feel like my family thought I had everything under control. My grandma can be very controlling and likes to bark out orders. She also liked to make me feel guilty for trying to have a social life.

I always feel guilty for feeling angry or resentful or like I was making a big deal out of things everyday I would vow to just move out but I'm still here and still picking up, cleaning up, refilling, and anticipating the next order from her.

Living with and taking care of the elderly is a HARD job and if you aren't getting any help from your family *like me, than I say,screw them and please seek some therapy.I know how isolating and depressing it can be and you are worth it.

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You Are NOT Alone!
by: Anonymous

Let me start by saying I commend you for taking care of your grandmother. It is the rarity in todays world but you are not alone.

My daughter & her husband who are also 30 yrs old and have 3 children moved in with my mom 5 yrs ago after she had surgery, is oxygen dependent and could not live on her own.

It started out as you said she needed help and they needed a place to stay (they lived in a one bedroom apt with 2 babies at the time).

In the beginning things were good. I would go and still go a couple times a week to shower my mom, take to doctors appointments, pick up medications and my daughter would make sure she took her medications, fed her, washed her clothes, cleaned, etc...mind you my mom is not the nicest person either and could be quite demanding also.

I have 3 siblings one sibling lives here; a sister who used to show up and take her out to dinner or to family gatherings, etc so the rest of us could get a little break. But of course time marches on...That sister has stopped showing up, feels my daughter and myself are responsible for her total care.

She cannot even care for my mother for a full day so my daughter and I can even go to the zoo or beach for the day. This behavior has built much resentment at this point and has been manifesting itself into depression & anxiety issues with my daughter, her family and myself.

At this point my daughter is in therapy and we are trying to figure things out. Finding help is not easy. But we keep trying.

I guess I felt the need to reply to your post to let you know you are not alone and doing the right thing is not always easy. Thank you for writing this post because we know we are not alone in our battle either. God Bless you always dear...there is a special place in heaven for those who sacrifice for others. ✌❤🙏

Sincerely,
A daughter, mother, grandmother who also
is always trying to do the right thing! ❤

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