When my dad passed away 17 years ago, we moved my mom into a granny flat on our farm. I always walked on egg shells around my mom and always tried to please her. She is 73 and I'm now 52.
She has always had a problem with alcohol and unless I was doing exactly what she wanted, she never liked me, even as a small child. I have two older brothers who she absolutely adores. I looked after everything my mom could possibly want making sure she was always comfortable, including buying her things like TV's, appliances etc. etc. 5 months ago she became very ill.
She has cancer and a rare disease that took her mobility away. She was in hospital for two months and I was there every single day. She begged me to take her home and I did, even going against the doctor's wishes. She had temper tantrums and was threatening to sign herself out. She was totally bed ridden and to get her up I had to use a hoist (along with her 74 year old boyfriend). She resumed drinking and started smoking 2 packs a day.
I gave her 4 to 5 hours of solid care a day and cleaned her house. I arranged everything. We had some in home help but only 2 hours a day.
Her boyfriend was verbally abusive to me, as was mom when things didn't go her way. My brothers in the two months I had her at home, visited only 3 times each. Because of mom's drinking she lost control of her bowels in the mornings and I had to clean that up as well.
I bed bathed her, massaged her, did it all. I gave her a great Christmas. Then she got very ill and fought going back into the hospital. She almost died. I could not take any more and told her I couldn't have her home, her care was far too much. Her boyfriend was exhausted as well.
Today, she is very angry with me for putting her back in hospital and for not continuing the care. When I go to visit she tells me to 'get the hell out' and refuses to speak to me. But she visits with my brothers and her boyfriend. I turned my life upside down for her and gave the best I had to give, now in her eyes, I'm lower than a piece of crap. My heart hurts.