Going Crazy

by Nancy
(Fall River, MA)

My mother passed away 3 years ago and my father (81) was devastated. I moved out of my house (which I rented) and remodeled his basement and moved in with my son and husband. That lasted about 6 months and 17 thousands dollars later.


I moved into a development and 2 months later my father sold his home and followed me there. It wasn't as bad as living together but I was doing everything cleaning, cooking, laundry, doctors appointments. I have 3 other sisters one of the that helps somewhat and the other and my oldest brother do nothing but state how grateful that my dad has me.

They all come and see him when they need money and money and money but NEVER come just to visit or help. I recently moved back into my home which has an in-laws apartment which my dad is now living in. I just want to pull my hair out and I feel bad for feeling the anger I do.

I would 55 hours a week and have a family of my own and dad always prepares food, with such a mess I spend and hour cleaning up. He never asked he just does. He can be very controlling and intrusive and I have done all I can to be polite about it letting him know I don't need or want him to do certain things.

I do not know where to turn. I love him very much but this is really overwhelming.
Nancy

Comments for Going Crazy

Average Rating starstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstar
Going Crazy - Something has to Give
by: Renata

Wow! That's really hard. You need to set some boundaries. This is just a thought, could you somehow let your dad know that you realize that he's been accustomed to a certain level of independence but, you are not different from any other woman, wife or mother.

Use of the kitchen comes with rules (that no one really keeps):

1.Clean up after yourself,

2.Don't use my stuff without my permission. OR
just tell him that you'd rather he leaves the cooking and other kitchen duty to your management and you expect to find your kitchen as you left it. It's rules!

Parents should understand rules right? How was your mom with him and her kitchen? Find out what she did or said to him, and if it worked then maybe you can do that. But set boundaries you must.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. it has been a long road

    Jun 11, 20 09:42 AM

    My 92 year old Dad has been living in my house for 15 months now. He has been on hospice care for 10 months. My wife and I are amazed that he keeps on

    Read More

  2. It just gets a little harder, every day

    Jun 01, 20 09:46 AM

    Been taking care of parent more and more for 4 years, with absolutely no help/support from out of state siblings. One of them, saying anything about my

    Read More

  3. Visitation

    May 06, 20 04:21 PM

    My mom is 98 years old. She started going down about 2 years ago. Her living situation at her house (stairs, no bathroom downstairs, unable to fix her

    Read More