(Fall River, MA)
My mother passed away 3 years ago and my father (81) was devastated. I moved out of my house (which I rented) and remodeled his basement and moved in with my son and husband. That lasted about 6 months and 17 thousands dollars later.
I moved into a development and 2 months later my father sold his home and followed me there. It wasn't as bad as living together but I was doing everything cleaning, cooking, laundry, doctors appointments. I have 3 other sisters one of the that helps somewhat and the other and my oldest brother do nothing but state how grateful that my dad has me.
They all come and see him when they need money and money and money but NEVER come just to visit or help. I recently moved back into my home which has an in-laws apartment which my dad is now living in. I just want to pull my hair out and I feel bad for feeling the anger I do.
I would 55 hours a week and have a family of my own and dad always prepares food, with such a mess I spend and hour cleaning up. He never asked he just does. He can be very controlling and intrusive and I have done all I can to be polite about it letting him know I don't need or want him to do certain things.
I do not know where to turn. I love him very much but this is really overwhelming.