Going Bonkers in Georgia

by Steve
(Georgia, U.S.A.)

I have to start off with saying I have a big old dog named Bonkers! But I am borrowing his name for this title only! How am I coping...? I don't really know for sure, I just take it one breath at a time. I used to drink, that didn't help at all, but I have been sober for five years this month!

I used to smoke a little pot until someone took that away from me and I am really upset at them for doing this to me. It was a way to help relieve stress and they had no right to take my peace of mind.

I also believe in the benefits of THC for elderly people with dementia and other health issues, but we live in a State that is retarded when it comes to medical cannabis. That is all I have to say about cannabis for now. It works.

My friend, she is 84 and our relationship is unique! She is 29 years older than me. I met her in 1985 through her son, and we worked together for almost ten years and have had a close personal relationship for twenty years. She lost her husband in 1996 the same year I lost my dad to cancer.

Her son was in an auto accident and was in pain all the time. He committed suicide in 2002 while addicted to opioids and fighting with his estranged wife for custody of his son, which is a battle he lost and it drove him to the brink.

My friend fought a custody battle and had her grandson for a couple years but he eventually ended back with his crazy mother. My friend helped me with my mother's terminal lung cancer until her death in 1998.

Now I am caring for my friend 24 hours a day. She can't hear very well and cannot talk very well if at all due to complications from a stroke. She is also unsteady on her feet.

I live in Georgia now, after living in Florida for 28 years. I have no friends here and I quit my job five years ago to care for my friend full time.
I have no money, and my truck and motorcycle need repairs I cannot afford.

We have four rescue dogs who need normal things dogs need like flea medications and food and vet check ups which we cannot afford.

The house is in need of many repairs and updates, which there is no money for.

And now my health is being affected.

I am afraid if I ask anyone for help that they will try to take charge of the situation and up end our lives instead of just lending a helping hand.

I am afraid if we get medical assistance that they will dig into rules and regulations and try to control the situation.

In other words, I do not trust anybody enough to ask for a little help, and feel it is better to just deal with all this myself.

I have seen how things get crazier when others that have not been in the scene come in and start to "help"! I have seen it most of my life. My mother cared for her Aunt who had Alzheimer, full blown.

She did not get any help from her sisters and when it came time for the estate to be settled, her sisters were there to take their cut. I am not saying that my friend's family would act like that, actually there is not much in the estate at all.

But I do think they will want to take over the direction of care and not consider my opinion in the future care of my friend. She has asked, and I have promised to let her go naturally, without any extraordinary life saving procedures.

She has a living will, but when crunch time comes, her family does not have any experience in letting go.

There is only one remedy for my friend to get any better, and it is illegal in this state. She can get a medical marijuana card, but those have strings attached and the state loves to infringe on people's rights who sign up for those cards.

So I just sit here everyday watching my friend slip closer to final deep sleep not knowing what I am going to do next!

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Care Giving and Having a Life...how are you able to manage? .

Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved

Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Need help with negative complaining mother

    Dec 28, 20 12:23 PM

    My mother is 93, in good health, no major heath issues, totally ambulatory. When my father died 6 years ago we found her a beautiful independent senior

    Read More

  2. Ugh!!

    Dec 28, 20 12:21 PM

    So I lost my mom 18 months ago. After her passing I would come to my parents house to clean and cook a couple of times a week for my dad. He still gets

    Read More

  3. 16yrs of Elderly care with NO HELP

    Dec 28, 20 12:18 PM

    I came back home in 2004 to help my dad as he had cancer, he eventually passed away few years later. Well here I am am in 2020 still at home taking care

    Read More