Glad I am Not Alone
I'm glad I'm not alone...I'm only 29. I'm getting married next week. No kids yet, so I have my entire "life" to look forward to...My father is only 51. But he had open heart surgery in his early 40s to replace a defective valve after having a heart attack. His health has been poor for the last several months, but he refuses to properly care for himself. If we offer him help, he refuses.
If we leave him alone, he tells everyone we neglect him. He holds my mother hostage, emotionally and mentally. If she has ONE friend, it's one too many.
It comes down to this: If he's miserable, he does everything in his power to ensure that the whole family is miserable with him. If that means picking a fight and starting WW3, he will do it. He's also a habitual liar.
You NEVER know if he's telling you the truth, or making this up. If we don't attend his appointments with him, we never know what they truly had to say regarding his medical conditions.
He will pull certain keywords out of conversations (even if we were there to hear the truth) and he'll turn it into something else entirely.
At least 3 weeks or so he calls his mother and tells her that the doctor says he's dying and no one cares. Obviously that's not true. But we have a hard time explaining how crazy my father truly is. They all think WE'RE the crazy one's and we hate him for some reason.
Today he went to the doctor (refused to let anyone drive him) and told her that he had to pull over on the side of the road several times because he "blacked out." She told him to go to the hospital to be admitted.
He called my mother and told her he was going to lie to her and say someone was coming pick him up to bring him over there, but he wasn't actually going. She told him he was acting childish, and he proceeded yelled and screamed at her.
I live with so much anxiety it's hard to stand it sometimes. My mom is miserable and I feel horrible for her. Instead of this being the happiest time in our lives, we're forced to run behind a grown-man that refuses to care for himself. Sometimes he acts like he has no will to live and just wants to die.
I have NO idea what we're supposed to do or how we're supposed to live our lives. When you almost fist fight a grown man to get him to go to the hospital, obviously there's a problem.