When my mother was so terribly ill and I had such an enormous burden on my shoulders, I found this site and it was good to unburden and let go. It was a difficult journey, that almost did me in personally. Although I didn't get responses at the time when I was asking for help, it was still good to let it out. I did however check every day for in hope that someone heard me.
My mom died last spring. She died knowing I loved her very much. We got through it together. I was with her when she passed. And, we made it without me sacrificing my home and family.
We shared the tears and I was there for her every single day, but not so much that my family was abandoned in the process. When I was her full time care giver at home, we had so few resources that after two months I was totally exhausted and at the end of my capability. She was becoming sicker and sicker at home and beginning to suffer.
I miss her terribly. But I feel I did right by her, while also doing right by my family.
I had to have a dose of reality shoved in my face to realize what I was doing to myself and family and I had to make some very hard decisions. Oh how much easier it would have been had I had advice from someone who had been there, done that!
So, after mom died I did devote some time to this site based on my experiences to actually answer some of the letters that get posted here. Most of the time I am the only one to
There is a person who reads these letters, who feels that God will take care of everything and that people should be willing to give up their entire lives to care for elderly parents no matter what the circumstance of their childhood or situation now. God will do it.
This person has accused me of being 'mean spirited' if I talk about the situation in real time and address what the person has said is really happening. God will do it and reality has no place here. Didn't God give us brains and 'free will'? I guess not.
I find it sad that this same person who attacks me, does not ever write to offer real solutions to these poor people who need so much help. I find it sad that so many letters go unanswered. The writer then feels no one cares. Like I did.
Also, I never tell people what to do, but offer possible solutions as any friend would do.
I do not need to put this effort forth only to be insulted and have the bible thumped at me. I'm sorry, but I don't feel right at this moment that I will be responding to any more letters. It's not because I don't care....but I just can't leave my experience and reality out of the situation.
Good luck to all. Take care. LeasaEDITORS NOTE:
Leasa, we here at boomers with elderly parents and in home care ideas for mom have been very grateful for your support and contributions....we read with interest all of your writings and are very thankful you have stayed to contribute. Please stay on and help all of us through the act of caregiving for our parents...