Frustrated

by Anonymous

Mum for the past 2 and half years has been in and out of hospitals and respite nursing home due to Parkinson's. Now I'm her sole carer and only child. I have a son with his own life and as I don't want to bring him down I have been dealing with the while financial side of it also the guilt of mum being in respite. In the period of in and out of respite my and Mum's bank account are washed out and now Mum's home in still owing $8000.00 paying bills not working because of foot operation but now as I was soon to go back to work I can't as mum is home and I'm her carer.


Basically living from dollar to dollar say by day it's killing me. Now to top onto financial stress Mum's at home and I can not leave her side she has mild Parkinson's also anxiety with panic attacks.

I can not leave her side she is constant calling me say n night and she sees that as my hob as I'm the daughter. I can't go out meaning to do shopping do daily things need to be done.

I see that since she's home she takes advantage of constant calling she won't even change a channel she's not even trying to help her self. Everyday I talk to her to see what interest.

She gas nothing doesn't want to so nothing but stay at home stare into space ponder on her Parkinson's until she panics then she starts crying and gets angry and if i don't do what she wants like having her medications more then she needs she starts yelling and makes me look like the bad one.

I'm starting to resent mum I feel constantly sick in stomach I cry everyday I think of leaving this earth i just hate life. What makes me angry she's happy with everyone else but I feel she takes advantage if me and sometimes does it on purpose. There is so much more I could say.

Bottom line I feel that why should I try to help when she doesn't want her self. She has no interest no friends no hobbies no nothing just me!!!!!!!!!...I feel for everyone I can't believe or i didn't think that there was so many others out there...i feel alone and scared.

I've put weight on I can't see a light...all I see now is a future of looking after mum with no light end of tunnel with no money I'm scared of going homeless. Good luck everyone and god bless you all

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