Frustrated and Wanting to Leave...

by Alan
(California)

My parents were not in the best of health growing up and my dad had 5 strokes during my late teens and through my twenties. My mom had two strokes six months apart after my dad passed away.

I've worked 2 jobs and went to school at night in order to always help financially and be around for all the other necessities. BTW - I'm an only child and for some reason both sides of the family consider us the "black" sheep and don't care, have talked, reached out, or helped in the past and present.

I'm so angry and frustrated that I was born into this crappy life and feel as if I've lost my youth and any ability to accomplish something significant during my prime years. (i.e. Teenage years all thru early Thirties)!!!My mom is now in a nursing home but still acts as if there is no one to help, as mentioned above, no family members from either side or friends, so all the pressure is on me to keep things cheerful and constantly do things like take her out and visit.

I feel like giving up and moving on with whatever life is left. I'm afraid that if I do have a family that I'm going to take my frustrations and anger out on them.

With all that said... I still love my mom and don't want her to feel abandoned.