Frustrated and Guilty
When I was 12 my Mom got remarried and by the time I was 17 she kicked me out of the house. When I was 30 my Mom's husband died and she was not financially able to take car of herself even though she was working and in her 50's. As the youngest, I took her in and for the last 20 years I've been taking care of her.
I feel I've lost the best years of my life (my 30-40's). I feel resentful that she kicked me out but I took her in, paid off her debts, bought a place in a city I didn't want to live and constantly help to improve her quality of life by sending her on vacations, buying groceries, taking her to appointments etc. yet I feel I'm not living my life.
She's critical and doesn't realize that I've given up my life for her.
Recently, I finally had a breakdown and told her how I feel and now I feel so guilty. She's 77 and can't do anything about it so what was the point of making her feel bad.
I'm frustrated, resentful and feel guilty. Now I'm consumed with ways to make her feel better.
What can I do?