Frustrated and a Bit Angry
(Weslaco, Texas, U.S.)
My grandmother came to live with me. She raised my brothers and sisters and me. She recently fell ill with anemia. I am her main caregiver.
My brother who lives about 15 miles away visits every 3 months to visit my grandmother. I feel like my brothers and sisters are blaming me for my grandmother's declining health. I feel they are saying behind closed doors that I am not taking good care of my grandmother like I should.
Since my grandmother has dementia and Alzheimer's, I don't feel like I can talk to her with my concerns. She is 87 years old. In a short amount of time, she had several health incidents. I hear my sisters make comments say, "Well, Mom ate well when she was with us." "Mom is so skinny." I am hurt because I would voice my frustrations to them and calling out for help, and their way of responding was "Well, if mom is too much to handle, well we can go pick her up."
I'm afraid of losing my grandmother that they will take her away but at the same time I start to self question myself if I am capable of taking care of her. My sisters had each other but I didn't have my brother to help on my end. He would always make excuses why he couldn't come help. I wondered if I should just let them take her or am I being stubborn.
I can't talk to my husband because he feels the same way and he doesn't understand that I just want someone to talk to but my husband will react by getting mad at my brothers and sisters. I feel I need to talk to someone who will listen.