Frustrated and a Bit Angry

by Daniella
(Weslaco, Texas, U.S.)

My grandmother came to live with me. She raised my brothers and sisters and me. She recently fell ill with anemia. I am her main caregiver.

My brother who lives about 15 miles away visits every 3 months to visit my grandmother. I feel like my brothers and sisters are blaming me for my grandmother's declining health. I feel they are saying behind closed doors that I am not taking good care of my grandmother like I should.

Since my grandmother has dementia and Alzheimer's, I don't feel like I can talk to her with my concerns. She is 87 years old. In a short amount of time, she had several health incidents. I hear my sisters make comments say, "Well, Mom ate well when she was with us." "Mom is so skinny." I am hurt because I would voice my frustrations to them and calling out for help, and their way of responding was "Well, if mom is too much to handle, well we can go pick her up."

I'm afraid of losing my grandmother that they will take her away but at the same time I start to self question myself if I am capable of taking care of her. My sisters had each other but I didn't have my brother to help on my end. He would always make excuses why he couldn't come help. I wondered if I should just let them take her or am I being stubborn.

I can't talk to my husband because he feels the same way and he doesn't understand that I just want someone to talk to but my husband will react by getting mad at my brothers and sisters. I feel I need to talk to someone who will listen.

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We Have Our Listening Ears On
by: Anonymous

Try writing to this forum every time you need to talk to someone. You may not always get a reply, but it will help to vent your feelings.

I've been writing here for over two years, and it's helped so much to be able to talk freely to others who totally understand. It's also helped me sort out my feelings and come to a greater understanding of my situation.

Over time, as you re-read your own entries, the replies you may receive, and other entries, you might come to some greater insight. If nothing else, it will help to know you are not alone in this situation.

There are hundreds of thousands of us out here, going through the same thing, just different perspectives. We hear you.

EDITORS NOTE - Thank you "Listening"....we came up with this avenue as we all were having so much trouble with our feelings of anger, resentment and helplessness...we found after several years, just like you that this has been a big help through our trials of care giving...all the best to you and yours.

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