Financially, Emotionally and Physically Exhausted
Since my mother passed away unexpectedly, my father feels that his adult children should assume his care because he does not want to leave his home.
Since none of us live nearby or even in the same state, we arranged for care in his home a few hours every day and set up a schedule to visit on weekends.
Unfortunately, my sister was diagnosed with cancer so more frequent visits were required.
Eventually, the strain of working full-time and serving as caretaker was too much and I ended up in the hospital. My youngest sister assumed all of the weekend duties until I got better.
It has been almost one year and we cannot keep up this pace. My father is either unwilling or incapable of taking care of himself and his home. He cannot shop, cook, get his own meals or clean and needs some assistance with dressing.
He is living in a large two story home but cannot walk up and down the stairs or keep with the maintenance. We go in every weekend to shop, provide upkeep on his home and prepare food so he just reheat but even this is too much for him.
Financially, he is well-off but he refuses to pay for his groceries, medicines, clothing, etc.
Since he wants to stay close to his church and friends, we suggested that he sell the home and move into assisted living. He is objecting saying that he cannot afford it but I know better.
I am just so tired, angry and frustrated. I think some of my childhood scars from his alcoholism and abuse of my mother have resurfaced. I feel like I did when I was a child...totally helpless and overwhelmed.