by Greenacres
(Gainesboro, TN)

My mom is 76 and Dad passed away @ 3 years ago. They had a will together. My Mother-in-law says she (My Mom) needs to draw up a new one because Dad has passed and the way things are now her power of attorney will own everything. Is this true? Should I talk to a lawyer or just let it go?

I can't talk to my sister, I've tried and her and her husband told me to go **** myself! They took it as an accusation for them to steal from my Mom. All I asked is what is a POA and what can she do?

She named my sister POA, but didn't realize how she has changed. My Dad told her my sister getting her Doctorate in college has gone to her head and for her to be careful and to stay in FL.

When Dad died (the night I left for home to TN) my sister came to take my place helping mom and staying with dad in the hospital. Mom was a mess.

My sisters went in and scavenged their home before the one then sold it after mom made her power of attorney to handle dad's remains or whatever. I really don't know why> She says she did not realize her home was being sold. Now she is up here in TN.

She tried living alone at first, then came for a 3 day visit and ended up staying for 14 months. Well my sister apparently did not like that because we have had so many fights and arguments that now no one is talking to each other (I do talk to my mom everyday and she tells me they are very mean to her and try to make her feel incompetent.)

She is now back in her new home and needs rides and groceries delivered. Her back is really messed up, but my sister doesn't believe her. They had a big fight day before yesterday and my sister says (to Her) that she is done.

I don't know what is going on with those two, I only hear mom's side of the story. What should I do? Is it really any of my business? My Mom is afraid to stand up for herself to my sister, because she doesn't want to lose her because eventually we will all need her help.

Mom wants me to do it but my husband says don't get in the middle of it. I am so torn up inside it hurts. Has anyone been through this? Does my Mom need to draw up a new will. God, I feel so weird talking about this.

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yes, it is
by: Elly

I do not know if your mom needs a new will or new POA paperwork. I do know that yes, it is your business when it comes to how she is treated.

If her back is painful and she is not getting proper medical care, or if she is being mistreated in any way, then of course, you have an obligation to step in and intercede on her behalf.

It is sad that caregiving divides so many families. I have seen it happen with my own. Take care of yourself as much as possible, too.

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