Lately my husband and I have been fighting a lot over my mom. She lives with us and is very difficult to deal with. We are all miserable and are trying to find another place for her to live, but most places have an 18 to 24 month waiting list.

Due to finances we cannot afford to rent her a place. We used to pay her rent but my husband is retired and making less than half of what he used to when he was working full time.

My mother only has S.S. so there is a limit there as well.

I am a diabetic who recently lost a toe due to a bad infection. I was in the hospital for 7 days on antibiotics. The next step is that I have to see the cardiologist. A test they did indicated there might be a slight blood flow problem in my right leg.

Right now I really don't care. Whatever happens is fine. I am tired and stressed and discouraged beyond words. There's nothing anyone can do. I guess I just need to vent. I am at my wits end and my life seems to be going downhill fast.

Thanks for "listening".

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I understand
by: Anonymous

Oh yes, it is very difficult, isn't it? Energy, dreams, ambition - it's all just sucked right out of you.

My mom has been with me 1 1/2 years now. She is difficult at times, but it's mostly my giving up independence that I fight the most. Just the ability to grab a throw and snooze on the couch without ten questions would be a gift anymore.

Most places do have waiting lists, but have you checked with your county into what is called adult foster care?

My uncle quickly needed to go to a home, but nothing was available in commercial locations. The county suggested adult foster care. These places are run by folks who take in elderly (they are well trained) into their own homes (they are verified and checked by social services frequently) and they cook all meals, give meds, perform medical services, take them to appointments, etc.

Usually there are 3-5 people to a home and there's a common living room area and everyone has their own bedroom.

It ended up being ideal. The gal who ran his home was so nice and he received excellent daily care. As his needs went up (cleaning up after bathroom, bathing or showering, etc.) the monthly cost went up. He was there quite awhile before there was any increase, but his health had deteriorated and of course he then required more care.

This might be something available in your area. Most county social service offices can give you information about this along with a list of locations you can go check out and meet with the caregiver. Usually this is their own home.

Hope this may help.
Take care of you, too.

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